This year we started the Blended model at our school. The boys go to school on Monday and Wednesday each week, then are home on Tuesday and Thursday for school. The model is designed not to have scheduled work on Fridays! This makes for a nice long weekend most weeks. Only a few of those Friday's have included leftover or take-a-break-until-tomorrow work. The curriculum is already chosen to be in line with the traditional five-day-model, so we order what we are told and work with the teacher who assigns the weeks work.
I never thought I would be a homeschool mom. I like my time and I like being spontaneous and as schedule free as I can, usually. Although, being a mom in general makes me live on a more structured schedule. But over the last three years, God has been softening my heart and leading me to ask questions. Patrick had a lot of questions and concerns, so it wasn't something we pursued much until last year.
Benjamin had struggled so much in First grade with keeping up in class and bringing home so much homework. In FIRST grade. That school year brought so many discouraging questions and a steady flow of tears -- from him and me each afternoon. Two things to note, in hindsight: That was also the year that Caleb was born and had skull surgery {and everyone in our family felt the weight of that!} and we now know that Kindergarten was somewhat of a disadvantage to him as he was quiet and obedient and didn't require much pushing. So while we thought he was doing 100%, it was probably more so his compliance and less of his comprehension. AND we didn't do anything during the summer before First grade, except reading.
Maybe we should have held him back at some point, maybe we were right in not. I suppose it doesn't matter now, but it was something we considered a few times and never took action. But he's doing fine and I think that we did what seemed best at the time and the Lord has been gracious in this journey for us. We want our children to love learning and growing. That doesn't always look like being in a classroom, but it can and proves effective! We want our children to be pushed and see their potential, but also have the freedom to figure out things in their own ways and in their own time.
Fast forward to August 2016. We were driving to visit some friends and had hours to talk. After a few casual mentions of doing blended or homeschooling, I threw it at Patrick with great conviction and a desire to share the depths of my heart. I truly wanted to be more involved with our children's school days, I felt saddened and convicted that over the course of 13 years there would be 13 other people {at least} teaching my children and seeing them more than me or Patrick, and I didn't want any of our children to grow to hate school or be apathetic toward learning and working hard. The Lord was moving in my heart and it felt a little overwhelming to be saying such bold statements about schooling our children and changing the path our family seemed to be on. Looking back, that was just the beginning of paths shifting and hearts changing.
Patrick was truly against homeschooling. He had some legit concerns and had heard of some unfortunate cases of homeschooling gone bad. He was worried about me doing something like school at home, when I can barely keep up with the house some days! Add having four kids to that and I'm inconsistent at best in doing all that needs to be done. {A weak area that the Lord continually works in, through and around me in! PS, with all of that said: I'm a great meal planner. haha}
So right then and there, I committed to learning as much as I could about the Blended model and homeschooling in general. I bought an hour-by-hour planner and spent the Fall semester keeping track of myself and setting pseudo-schedules for our home. I met with, called and asked a thousand questions to friends who did Blended or homeschooled. I prayed constantly for direction and unity and for my conviction to be from the Lord, and not from a selfish or proud motive. The more I talked with other moms, the more I felt ready to do this! We met with the principal and teachers at the school to talk with them. I felt so prepared and educated on something that seemed so out of character for me to pursue.
And then three months later when we had to consider the next school year, Patrick and I talked again. I came to our conversation prepared and ready to defend my conviction. But I didn't need to because the Lord had softened Patrick's heart and gave him a desire to see what Blended would look like for our family. My heart flipped and praised Jesus for answering this prayer. Within days of making this decision together, I felt so free and light from this burden. I felt like we were walking in obedience and stepping out in faith toward something that seemed equally terrifying and perfect for our family.
We talked with the boys over and over about this decision and their biggest concern was missing their friends. We prayed for them and encouraged them. And since school has began, they are seeing their old friends and making new ones. More so, though, it's brought up some incredible life lessons that we've been able to teach them about friendships!
Doing Blended has been a hard adjustment. It's meant taking four kids a lot of places, rescheduling, rearranging and being home a lot. It's meant looking for the best way for the boys to learn and where they are struggling. It looks like walking through things that don't make sense and talking through why we need to learn math and grammar. It looks like learning Latin with my Third grader so we can not fail Latin! It looks like "off campus lunch" when we need to get out of the house or when we've worked really hard to be done by 11:30am. It looks like taking a break to go to the Science Museum or the Zoo because we can. It looks like Free Funday Friday's and making the most of this beautiful schooling option.
There have been tears and threats and words spoken harshly. There have been sibling fights and disagreements. BUT there are such sweet moments and goodness swirled up with the hard -- isn't that just life, though? There have been days, especially as we find our rhythm and figure some things out, that I wish we were exclusively homeschooling. When maybe we don't need to rush through somethings on Tuesday to make sure they are ready for Wednesday. Those "crunch days" can feel overwhelming. Or when I would want to consider doing a different book for literature or having a say in the curriculum choices. But for now, this is working and it feels like the Lord has us here for such a time as this. Maybe I was created for this purpose all along? I'm so glad the Lord lead us and pushed us to see what He had for us in this chapter.
Even more, when Patrick and I are talking about what's next for our family or what adventures we want to take, places we want to explore, potential moves we may make, homeschooling frees us up to do them and it's become a desired part of what our family looks like right now. It may be a pretty hard 180 degree shift, full of constant sanctification and change, but I couldn't be more delighted in what the Lord has done and how He is moving and growing us and allowing us this opportunity.
I don't know what's next or how long we will homeschool, but I pray often that we would be better for it and I already see the Lord meeting us there.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Friday, December 4, 2015
The Ten Commandments of Motherhood...
Maybe it's just fun to think of how I get by each day. Maybe you need to laugh a little or shake your head. Maybe you need a few tips on how to get it done. But I was thinking of these this morning as I was walking to the park with the littles. I was near the edge of my limits and thinking of this list made me laugh and remember that these days are, well, tough. But they are also so very good.
1. Thou shall seek the Lord for grace each day and look to Him for sustainment.
2. Thou shall drink plenty of caffeine.
3. Thou shall laugh often so you don't go crazy.
4. Thou shall leave the house when necessary and remember that fresh air cures a lot of woes and insanity.
5. Thou shall find a theme song and dance to it frequently {Mine: Up in here, by DMX. Other good options: We are the Champions, Queen/I gotta get through this, Daniel Bettingfield/Mind stopped working, you'll find one... I just know it.}
6. Thou shall not compare thyself to other moms or people who do things awesome in their own way, BUT celebrate your differences and the way YOU do things with awesomeness.
7. Thou shall find a good friend or two {or four, whatever} and stick together.
8. Thou shall not be afraid to use the TV or iPad or loud toys as a distraction so you can take a deep breath or two/clean the house/not hurt anyone. Seriously, it won't ruin them and everyone survives!
9. Thou shall read as many books as possible, play with legos and blocks, wrap babies in blankets, play hide and seek, brush hair, change clothes, and tickle children whenever you can because children should be children. And you should enjoy these days, too.
10. Thou shall kiss and hug and snuggle your small people at least one thousand times a day. They still like it when they are bigger, even if they put up a fight. Everyone needs these things, even if you don't want to be touched one more time by any living thing. Hugs do a world of good to any breathing human.
1. Thou shall seek the Lord for grace each day and look to Him for sustainment.
2. Thou shall drink plenty of caffeine.
3. Thou shall laugh often so you don't go crazy.
4. Thou shall leave the house when necessary and remember that fresh air cures a lot of woes and insanity.
5. Thou shall find a theme song and dance to it frequently {Mine: Up in here, by DMX. Other good options: We are the Champions, Queen/I gotta get through this, Daniel Bettingfield/Mind stopped working, you'll find one... I just know it.}
6. Thou shall not compare thyself to other moms or people who do things awesome in their own way, BUT celebrate your differences and the way YOU do things with awesomeness.
7. Thou shall find a good friend or two {or four, whatever} and stick together.
8. Thou shall not be afraid to use the TV or iPad or loud toys as a distraction so you can take a deep breath or two/clean the house/not hurt anyone. Seriously, it won't ruin them and everyone survives!
9. Thou shall read as many books as possible, play with legos and blocks, wrap babies in blankets, play hide and seek, brush hair, change clothes, and tickle children whenever you can because children should be children. And you should enjoy these days, too.
10. Thou shall kiss and hug and snuggle your small people at least one thousand times a day. They still like it when they are bigger, even if they put up a fight. Everyone needs these things, even if you don't want to be touched one more time by any living thing. Hugs do a world of good to any breathing human.
Friday, October 9, 2015
Car conversations.
Our school is having their fall break right now. And let me be honest: this morning was awful! Sometimes I wonder how we survive each other. At one point the boys were in their beds with the demand to be silent, Elise was put into her crib because she wouldn't stop screaming and crying and Caleb was on the couch crying because he wanted to be held and fed. How do I even start handling all of that?
I walked away. I grabbed Caleb and moved him to my bed. I prayed. And took a few deep breaths.
I apologized to the boys. I let them speak their minds. I shared with them their disobedience and the reason I was upset. I asked them to apologize. We were fine. I went to Elise and held her. I talked to her and let her know I loved her. And then I fed my baby. Oh my goodness, four kids can be hard and overwhelming somedays.
But I remember that everyday isn't like this. Most of our day, even though full of chaos, are good. They are hard and sad, fun and silly, go with the flow days. In these hard times I'm grateful to remember that all days are not this difficult.
Also, I texted Patrick and he kindly said, "Let's meet at the mall for lunch."
Yes, yes and yes. I love him.
On the way home we were chatting and being sweet. Clearly, we all just needed to leave the house and see daddy! The boys started picking on one another about who they were going to marry. This is a new thing and actually pretty funny. Andrew is in a "I don't like girls" phase, so he is very offended when it's suggested he will get married. Unless it's a day he does like girls, then he just laughs.
Something was said about Benjamin not being able to marry someone because they were younger. I shared with them that I was almost 3 years younger than Patrick -- and they were shocked! Ha! And then a series of questions began about how old they were when I was in third grade. I had to explain they weren't alive yet. And here is part of our conversation:
B: Were we with Jesus before we were born?
A: I was with Jesus before I was born!
Me: You were with Jesus? Was He nice? Did He take care of you?
A: Yes! Jesus was nice to me. And He hugged me. And the soldiers were nice, too. They didn't kill me or anything.
Me: Well, that's great!
B: So before we were born did we stay with Jesus? And then did He stuff us into your belly? And then we were born. How do babies get out of your belly? Do they cut babies out of a big circle in your body?
Me: Some people get cuts to get their babies out! Like Aunt Sarah. That's how baby Cole got here!
B: Uncle Kent and Aunt Sarah should have to more babies. And they should be girls...and we can name them!
This went on a bit, but it was funny to see how their minds process and try to figure out where they came from and how the world around them works. Being a momma is hard work, but these moments of questions and laughter and figuring out together are worth a lot of bad days.
PS - Sorry, Sarah, for throwing you under the bus to get out of birthing questions!!! If the boys have c-section questions -- they now know who to talk to!!! ;)
I walked away. I grabbed Caleb and moved him to my bed. I prayed. And took a few deep breaths.
I apologized to the boys. I let them speak their minds. I shared with them their disobedience and the reason I was upset. I asked them to apologize. We were fine. I went to Elise and held her. I talked to her and let her know I loved her. And then I fed my baby. Oh my goodness, four kids can be hard and overwhelming somedays.
But I remember that everyday isn't like this. Most of our day, even though full of chaos, are good. They are hard and sad, fun and silly, go with the flow days. In these hard times I'm grateful to remember that all days are not this difficult.
Also, I texted Patrick and he kindly said, "Let's meet at the mall for lunch."
Yes, yes and yes. I love him.
On the way home we were chatting and being sweet. Clearly, we all just needed to leave the house and see daddy! The boys started picking on one another about who they were going to marry. This is a new thing and actually pretty funny. Andrew is in a "I don't like girls" phase, so he is very offended when it's suggested he will get married. Unless it's a day he does like girls, then he just laughs.
Something was said about Benjamin not being able to marry someone because they were younger. I shared with them that I was almost 3 years younger than Patrick -- and they were shocked! Ha! And then a series of questions began about how old they were when I was in third grade. I had to explain they weren't alive yet. And here is part of our conversation:
B: Were we with Jesus before we were born?
A: I was with Jesus before I was born!
Me: You were with Jesus? Was He nice? Did He take care of you?
A: Yes! Jesus was nice to me. And He hugged me. And the soldiers were nice, too. They didn't kill me or anything.
Me: Well, that's great!
B: So before we were born did we stay with Jesus? And then did He stuff us into your belly? And then we were born. How do babies get out of your belly? Do they cut babies out of a big circle in your body?
Me: Some people get cuts to get their babies out! Like Aunt Sarah. That's how baby Cole got here!
B: Uncle Kent and Aunt Sarah should have to more babies. And they should be girls...and we can name them!
This went on a bit, but it was funny to see how their minds process and try to figure out where they came from and how the world around them works. Being a momma is hard work, but these moments of questions and laughter and figuring out together are worth a lot of bad days.
PS - Sorry, Sarah, for throwing you under the bus to get out of birthing questions!!! If the boys have c-section questions -- they now know who to talk to!!! ;)
Monday, July 7, 2014
Elise {9months}
Well, well, well...my tiny {not really} baby is nine months old and that seems nearly impossible. This is about the time where reality sets in and I realize that I am closer to having a toddler than a baby. Which makes me want to cry like a baby. And have more babies. Ah well...
Elise is such a joy. Seriously. I have no clue how a baby can be so smiley and contentall most of the time. She fusses, obviously. And has bad days, but they are not too hard to deal with. She has started voicing her opinion when the boys take something from her or she can't reach something that she wants. And she recently started screaming as loud as she possibly can just for fun. Think of the highest pitches squeal -- that is the noise she loves to make in public bathrooms. echo...echo...echo. Sorry for your ears because I love hearing my baby get excited more than I worry about your ear comfort :)
Our sweet girl is long! She is about 30 1/2 inches, from my measurement. I put her in a lot of dresses so she doesn't have to wear capri pants all the time ;) And what's not to love about a cute dresses with matching bloomers! I can still put headbands on her and she will leave them on. Sometimes she will pull them down and chew on them -- success for her, I'm sure!
Elise still nurses SEVEN times a day. Yes, you read that correctly. 7. My goal in life was to get her down to seven times a day, from eight, before she turned nine months old. Win! She eats baby food at least twice a day and also enjoys snacks. I am much morenegligent lenient carefree in feeding her real food -- so far, so good. Just this past week she has started eating whatever real food I put in front of he -- bless it! I can't wait to stop buying expensive baby food!
Things Elise loves:
*her thumb.
*blankies. especially when sucking her thumb.
*brothers.
*playing with toys she stole from her brothers. {insert angry cry when they find out and take said toy away}
*playing with balls or stuffed animals.
*daddy unless I am anywhere in clear site.
*puffs or cheerios.
*clapping
*sleep.
*nursing.
*mommy! {In fact, of all her babbles -- she says "mama" when she sees me and on command. Yesssssssssss, yes, yes!}
Things Elise does not love:
*heat.
*taking things away from her.
*being hungry
Elise doesn't move, really. I mean, she bounces while she's sitting. And she has recently started to roll for things she wants. But her motivation is lacking and her incentives must not be all that wonderful. The day is coming, though. As much as I like the gloriousness of her not moving, I am anxious for her to starting crawling and moving around with the boys!
Speaking of the boys -- Elise loves them. Seriously. She smiles and laughs at them so fantastically. Andrew smothers her hourly and she makes it very clear when she is over his attention. Benjamin is more of a distant lover. As in, he talks to her from the other side of the room and touches her sometimes. They are all so sweet together, though. My heart is full watching them and being surrounded by them. They are heart melting messes and it's a fair warning to you that if you see them you will want to squish them and kiss them and just enjoy the heck out of them. Well, unless one of them is sassy or has an angry face -- you may just want to walk away and try again later...
I digress, back to Elise.
She's wonderful and fills my heart with joy. Wherever there was fear of being the momma to a baby girl, there is now simply humility that such a delight would be called my daughter. The Lord has shown such incredible kindness to me through my children.
So here are some pictures of our sweetie baby....
Elise is such a joy. Seriously. I have no clue how a baby can be so smiley and content
Our sweet girl is long! She is about 30 1/2 inches, from my measurement. I put her in a lot of dresses so she doesn't have to wear capri pants all the time ;) And what's not to love about a cute dresses with matching bloomers! I can still put headbands on her and she will leave them on. Sometimes she will pull them down and chew on them -- success for her, I'm sure!
Elise still nurses SEVEN times a day. Yes, you read that correctly. 7. My goal in life was to get her down to seven times a day, from eight, before she turned nine months old. Win! She eats baby food at least twice a day and also enjoys snacks. I am much more
Things Elise loves:
*her thumb.
*blankies. especially when sucking her thumb.
*brothers.
*playing with toys she stole from her brothers. {insert angry cry when they find out and take said toy away}
*playing with balls or stuffed animals.
*daddy unless I am anywhere in clear site.
*puffs or cheerios.
*clapping
*sleep.
*nursing.
*mommy! {In fact, of all her babbles -- she says "mama" when she sees me and on command. Yesssssssssss, yes, yes!}
Things Elise does not love:
*heat.
*taking things away from her.
*being hungry
Elise doesn't move, really. I mean, she bounces while she's sitting. And she has recently started to roll for things she wants. But her motivation is lacking and her incentives must not be all that wonderful. The day is coming, though. As much as I like the gloriousness of her not moving, I am anxious for her to starting crawling and moving around with the boys!
Speaking of the boys -- Elise loves them. Seriously. She smiles and laughs at them so fantastically. Andrew smothers her hourly and she makes it very clear when she is over his attention. Benjamin is more of a distant lover. As in, he talks to her from the other side of the room and touches her sometimes. They are all so sweet together, though. My heart is full watching them and being surrounded by them. They are heart melting messes and it's a fair warning to you that if you see them you will want to squish them and kiss them and just enjoy the heck out of them. Well, unless one of them is sassy or has an angry face -- you may just want to walk away and try again later...
I digress, back to Elise.
She's wonderful and fills my heart with joy. Wherever there was fear of being the momma to a baby girl, there is now simply humility that such a delight would be called my daughter. The Lord has shown such incredible kindness to me through my children.
So here are some pictures of our sweetie baby....
 |
| First plane ride. Destination: Chicago! |
 |
| She loved it and did so great. |
 |
| 9 months. |
 |
| 9 months in {right before we left for the hospital} 9 months out! |
 |
| 6 days old // 9 months old |
 |
| Happy baby |
 |
| Clap your hands! |
 |
| blankie lover. |
 |
| Typical crinkle nose smile <3 td=""> |
 |
| Loves daddy and looks like him! |
 |
| Angry Elise -- she wanted me to hold her, per usual, instead of take her picture. |
 |
| little lady... |
 |
| Me and Elise! |
 |
| One more of the girls... |
Thursday, June 19, 2014
When I grow up... {conversations with little people
Patrick has been out of town this week. And sometimes that's draining and sometimes is not as hard as I thought it would be. And most of the time, I just have to laugh and smile and say "I'm sorry" a lot.
Good news: he will be home today. Like, in a flash!
So we went to the YMCA this morning and that was good. And then we went to Whole Foods and that was okay. I knew it was going to be a little hairy when Benjamin had to go to the bathroom as soon as we got there and then, of course, Andrew did too. I had a baby in a wrap, a three year old forced to stay in a cart and a five year old forced to touch said cart at all times. I got kind looks. And not-so-kind looks. {people can be so mean to moms with just a glare. Ugh.}
We go to the bathroom. We wander around the {most dangerous ever} store and find what we need. And we also found a few things we didn't really neeeeeed. At one point a woman says something about how well behaved my children are being. I'm glad she said something so nice and I smile. Moments later, I begin looking for her so she can she our true colors shining through.
Elise has been moved to the cart and is cracking up at Andrew. Benjamin is losing his cool and starting to do crazy things only five year old boys can come up with and it drives me bonkers. Andrew then follows Benjamin's craziness. I'm down two and one melting away. Which is, in fact, the entirety of my crew. Bummer.
I try to re-group. We are almost done! I order some coffee from the coffee bar and must have looked a little frazzled. I ask for an iced americano, the girl smiles at me and says, "You want the biggest size we have?"
Actually, I do. Thanks.
We get into the car and pray. Seriously. I turned off the over played VBS music and looked at my boys straight in the face. I said, "We need to pray. I'm sorry mommy has been so impatient and frustrated and wants you to live in my expectations all the time. I need Jesus." They smiled so lovingly and peacefully at me and both boys screamed, "IT'S OKAY, MOMMY! We forgive you." Then we prayed for a few minutes. Amen.
{insert tears and gratitude and humility and sort of a "whew!" feeling}
On the way home, I suggested we drive by the school and then stop by the house {we are building. oops, did I tell you that. I will. Soon}. We were laughing and talking about all sorts of things. I love that we can talk together and enjoy whatever we are talking about. This is part of our conversation as we passed the boys school....
B: People are there? What are they doing?!
Me: They are working! Someone has to be at the school during the summer.
A: I will work at the school.
Me: Andrew, that's a fun thing to do when you grow up!
B: I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Me: That's okay. You have a lot of years to figure that out. And you want to know the best part of figuring it out?
Boys: what?!!?
Me: You get to try so many new things while you decide what you like to do best!
B: Okay. So first thing to try {holds up one finger} -- be a jedi. I don't know what I will try after that.
The boys and I kept talking as we drove around and it made me so grateful. I'm grateful that I can enjoy conversations with my children. I'm grateful that they share things with me. I'm grateful that even tiny moments are teachable. I'm grateful for the incredible about of grace they have for my sinfulness. I'm grateful for new mercies and renewed perspectives.
Motherhood is certainly hard and overwhelming. Sometimes it's lonely and mundane. Sometimes it's hilarious and simple. Either way, I wouldn't be the woman I am without the title and honorable role as a momma... Maybe that's what I'm most grateful for.
Also, when I was little I wanted to be a momma when I grew up. Win!
Good news: he will be home today. Like, in a flash!
So we went to the YMCA this morning and that was good. And then we went to Whole Foods and that was okay. I knew it was going to be a little hairy when Benjamin had to go to the bathroom as soon as we got there and then, of course, Andrew did too. I had a baby in a wrap, a three year old forced to stay in a cart and a five year old forced to touch said cart at all times. I got kind looks. And not-so-kind looks. {people can be so mean to moms with just a glare. Ugh.}
We go to the bathroom. We wander around the {most dangerous ever} store and find what we need. And we also found a few things we didn't really neeeeeed. At one point a woman says something about how well behaved my children are being. I'm glad she said something so nice and I smile. Moments later, I begin looking for her so she can she our true colors shining through.
Elise has been moved to the cart and is cracking up at Andrew. Benjamin is losing his cool and starting to do crazy things only five year old boys can come up with and it drives me bonkers. Andrew then follows Benjamin's craziness. I'm down two and one melting away. Which is, in fact, the entirety of my crew. Bummer.
I try to re-group. We are almost done! I order some coffee from the coffee bar and must have looked a little frazzled. I ask for an iced americano, the girl smiles at me and says, "You want the biggest size we have?"
Actually, I do. Thanks.
We get into the car and pray. Seriously. I turned off the over played VBS music and looked at my boys straight in the face. I said, "We need to pray. I'm sorry mommy has been so impatient and frustrated and wants you to live in my expectations all the time. I need Jesus." They smiled so lovingly and peacefully at me and both boys screamed, "IT'S OKAY, MOMMY! We forgive you." Then we prayed for a few minutes. Amen.
{insert tears and gratitude and humility and sort of a "whew!" feeling}
On the way home, I suggested we drive by the school and then stop by the house {we are building. oops, did I tell you that. I will. Soon}. We were laughing and talking about all sorts of things. I love that we can talk together and enjoy whatever we are talking about. This is part of our conversation as we passed the boys school....
B: People are there? What are they doing?!
Me: They are working! Someone has to be at the school during the summer.
A: I will work at the school.
Me: Andrew, that's a fun thing to do when you grow up!
B: I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Me: That's okay. You have a lot of years to figure that out. And you want to know the best part of figuring it out?
Boys: what?!!?
Me: You get to try so many new things while you decide what you like to do best!
B: Okay. So first thing to try {holds up one finger} -- be a jedi. I don't know what I will try after that.
The boys and I kept talking as we drove around and it made me so grateful. I'm grateful that I can enjoy conversations with my children. I'm grateful that they share things with me. I'm grateful that even tiny moments are teachable. I'm grateful for the incredible about of grace they have for my sinfulness. I'm grateful for new mercies and renewed perspectives.
Motherhood is certainly hard and overwhelming. Sometimes it's lonely and mundane. Sometimes it's hilarious and simple. Either way, I wouldn't be the woman I am without the title and honorable role as a momma... Maybe that's what I'm most grateful for.
Also, when I was little I wanted to be a momma when I grew up. Win!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Paper calendar {thoughts on my days}
This year I began using a paper calendar. I still use my phone for some things, but mostly I take the time to write things down in a spiral, weekly calendar. I feel so disconnected and adult-like. And I really love that.
I love how I get to write things that aren't just to-do lists or parent signings. I love that I get to see how my week fill up. I love writing and remembering birthdays. I love scribbles of reschedules or notes about prayer requests or things I need to get from the mall. I love seeing the "notes" from my little people. It's also pink <3 p="">
I was sitting at Starbucks a few weeks ago, coffee in hand, looking at my week ahead. I was filling in a few things that needed to be added. I wrote down the workouts I needed to do on training days. I made a few lists to the side. And then I stopped and just looked at my words and to-do's and my messy handwriting.
My days are full of such sweet things. These sweet things are not spectacular or super important. These sweet things are just little, every day things.
You may think my days are mundane or boring, most days.
Generally, all days are the same:
And now that I'm looking at this list -- it made me laugh out loud! This doesn't include random days that we spend running errands all morning or playing at a friends house. Some days we go to the zoo, or the park, or we have lunch out before it's time to get Benjamin. Some days we come straight home and enjoy being home.
All of this to say that I really enjoy this season...this life. I love being a momma. I love being Patrick's wife. I love my friends and their kids. I love our church. I love Benjamin's school. I love having a YMCA and a Target :) It's not a busy life. My days are not extravagant or full of luxury and relaxation.
My days are mostly simple and more than I deserve. My days are full of prayer and pleas for patience and wisdom. My days are easily exhausting. My days are full of laughter. Some days couldn't be quick enough. Often, though, my days are too quick. Not one day is perfect. Not one day is the best. They are all really beautiful, messy days -- and I'm really, really grateful for them.
Moral of the story: get a paper calendar. :)
I love how I get to write things that aren't just to-do lists or parent signings. I love that I get to see how my week fill up. I love writing and remembering birthdays. I love scribbles of reschedules or notes about prayer requests or things I need to get from the mall. I love seeing the "notes" from my little people. It's also pink <3 p="">
I was sitting at Starbucks a few weeks ago, coffee in hand, looking at my week ahead. I was filling in a few things that needed to be added. I wrote down the workouts I needed to do on training days. I made a few lists to the side. And then I stopped and just looked at my words and to-do's and my messy handwriting.
My days are full of such sweet things. These sweet things are not spectacular or super important. These sweet things are just little, every day things.
You may think my days are mundane or boring, most days.
Generally, all days are the same:
Wake up| Feed Elise| Get everyone ready for the day
Drink coffee| Take Benjamin to school| Feed Elise
Go to the Y and/or Run errands| Go home
Feed Elise| Clean up| Feed other people
Pick up Benjamin| Go home| Feed Elise
Nap time
Clean house| Play with Benjamin| Read my bible
Start dinner| Feed Elise| Play/cook dinner/clean
Welcome Patrick home| Eat dinner| Feed Elise
Play| Baths| Family worship
Feed Elise| Bedtime for the kiddos
Hang out with Patrick| Last clean up of the day
Bed time
And now that I'm looking at this list -- it made me laugh out loud! This doesn't include random days that we spend running errands all morning or playing at a friends house. Some days we go to the zoo, or the park, or we have lunch out before it's time to get Benjamin. Some days we come straight home and enjoy being home.
All of this to say that I really enjoy this season...this life. I love being a momma. I love being Patrick's wife. I love my friends and their kids. I love our church. I love Benjamin's school. I love having a YMCA and a Target :) It's not a busy life. My days are not extravagant or full of luxury and relaxation.
My days are mostly simple and more than I deserve. My days are full of prayer and pleas for patience and wisdom. My days are easily exhausting. My days are full of laughter. Some days couldn't be quick enough. Often, though, my days are too quick. Not one day is perfect. Not one day is the best. They are all really beautiful, messy days -- and I'm really, really grateful for them.
Moral of the story: get a paper calendar. :)
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Having babies...
I'm sure you know this, but having babies is one of my favorite things that I've been able to do in life. They don't get in very easy, but they come out beautifully! Patrick and I are very confident, and in unity, that we won't do fertility treatments again -- ever. The toll it took on our family last time was hard. Add to this being older and my body having a harder time with pregnancy -- it's a good and wise decision, we believe.
But this doesn't change the fact that I've had three fantastic deliveries. And it doesn't make my love of labor and delivery go away!
Last night, a co-worker of Patrick's {and his wife} came over for dinner. They are just a month away from their due date with their first child. It was so fun talking with them about babies! We don't have a lot of wisdom and insight, but we have some experience! They asked so many questions and were so interested in whatever we were sharing. It was fun to have a very honest and encouraging conversation about having babies.
We talked about end of pregnancy and labor. We talked about delivery and knowledge and confidence. We talked about enjoying the hospital stay the first time around. We talked about how hard the first few weeks are. We laughed at parenthood and life changes. And we encouraged them to have low expectations and a positive perspective. I sincerely hope they left confident and encouraged about having a baby!
After they left, I was just so excited for them {as I am with most people that get to have babies!} and can't wait to hear how their experience goes. No matter how the baby comes into this world, I know they are prepared and ready -- and have a good bit of healthy-what did we get ourselves into- fear!
This made my heart long to help other women and walk this road with them. Not because I have any thing to offer, but simply because I LOVE this process and would love to help other women feel confident about having babies! Someday I really think that being a doula would bring such joy to my heart. If I can't birth babies anymore, I might as well be there when someone else does! :)
I don't know if there was a point to this post, other than to process how much I loved having these sweet folks over and talking about having babies. There have GOT to be other people in the world who could talk about labor and delivery for hours with me!!! :)
But this doesn't change the fact that I've had three fantastic deliveries. And it doesn't make my love of labor and delivery go away!
Last night, a co-worker of Patrick's {and his wife} came over for dinner. They are just a month away from their due date with their first child. It was so fun talking with them about babies! We don't have a lot of wisdom and insight, but we have some experience! They asked so many questions and were so interested in whatever we were sharing. It was fun to have a very honest and encouraging conversation about having babies.
We talked about end of pregnancy and labor. We talked about delivery and knowledge and confidence. We talked about enjoying the hospital stay the first time around. We talked about how hard the first few weeks are. We laughed at parenthood and life changes. And we encouraged them to have low expectations and a positive perspective. I sincerely hope they left confident and encouraged about having a baby!
After they left, I was just so excited for them {as I am with most people that get to have babies!} and can't wait to hear how their experience goes. No matter how the baby comes into this world, I know they are prepared and ready -- and have a good bit of healthy-what did we get ourselves into- fear!
This made my heart long to help other women and walk this road with them. Not because I have any thing to offer, but simply because I LOVE this process and would love to help other women feel confident about having babies! Someday I really think that being a doula would bring such joy to my heart. If I can't birth babies anymore, I might as well be there when someone else does! :)
I don't know if there was a point to this post, other than to process how much I loved having these sweet folks over and talking about having babies. There have GOT to be other people in the world who could talk about labor and delivery for hours with me!!! :)
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Savoring a moment...
Last night we had a "camp out" in our living room. We watched The Polar Express, then grabbed sleeping bags and lined them up. The boys were so excited and didn't calm down easily for bed time {as you can imagine}.
We turned off the lights. I sat on the couch to nurse Elise. Andrew, Patrick and Benjamin were at my feet -- the smallest ones a bit restless and the big one relaxed and resting.
And then for a few minutes there was quietness and calm -- and in those very short minutes I closed my eyes to savor each little thing that was happening...
Elise was content, belly full, laying on my chest. I love to feel my baby's head snuggled up in the crook of my neck. She was breathing softly and sleeping peacefully.
Andrew was trying to get comfortable and would grab my foot, pulling it near each time he moved. He would sigh and relax, then move again -- always finding my foot as he settled in.
Benjamin was laying still, playing with his dream light dog {a new toy that brings sheer delight to this four year old!}. Blue, green and yellow stars flashed on the ceiling as he tried to rest. Then I felt a warm blanket cover my legs. And slowly the blanket covered one shoulder, carefully avoiding a little sister. I opened my eyes and Benjamin was quietly caring for me, knowing I was probably cold as I rested on the couch. I smiled a grateful smile at him.
These children. These tiny little children that have been given to Patrick and I to care for, to raise, to enjoy -- they are incredible. Each one giving love in their own way. Each one different in personality. Each one tender and joyful and such a beautiful treasure to us.
Such.beautiful.treasures!
These are the moments I don't want to forget quickly because when I look back on these little years, I want to remember the calms in the storm and the joys that make these days so delightful.
And in a flash, chaos ensued as Andrew stood up and starting dancing and talking and Benjamin just couldn't resist the urge to join in. Quietness may be short and fleeting, but it can certainly be enjoyed...
We turned off the lights. I sat on the couch to nurse Elise. Andrew, Patrick and Benjamin were at my feet -- the smallest ones a bit restless and the big one relaxed and resting.
And then for a few minutes there was quietness and calm -- and in those very short minutes I closed my eyes to savor each little thing that was happening...
Elise was content, belly full, laying on my chest. I love to feel my baby's head snuggled up in the crook of my neck. She was breathing softly and sleeping peacefully.
Andrew was trying to get comfortable and would grab my foot, pulling it near each time he moved. He would sigh and relax, then move again -- always finding my foot as he settled in.
Benjamin was laying still, playing with his dream light dog {a new toy that brings sheer delight to this four year old!}. Blue, green and yellow stars flashed on the ceiling as he tried to rest. Then I felt a warm blanket cover my legs. And slowly the blanket covered one shoulder, carefully avoiding a little sister. I opened my eyes and Benjamin was quietly caring for me, knowing I was probably cold as I rested on the couch. I smiled a grateful smile at him.
These children. These tiny little children that have been given to Patrick and I to care for, to raise, to enjoy -- they are incredible. Each one giving love in their own way. Each one different in personality. Each one tender and joyful and such a beautiful treasure to us.
Such.beautiful.treasures!
These are the moments I don't want to forget quickly because when I look back on these little years, I want to remember the calms in the storm and the joys that make these days so delightful.
And in a flash, chaos ensued as Andrew stood up and starting dancing and talking and Benjamin just couldn't resist the urge to join in. Quietness may be short and fleeting, but it can certainly be enjoyed...
Saturday, November 16, 2013
The power of a little girl...
After two boys, I wasn't sure what I would do with a baby girl. Or how I would feel about her. But - truth be told - she is simply incredible. Her little eyes and lips melt me and she a snuggle puppy to the fullest. It's such a different feeling than I had with the boys. Not better or worse -- just simply, and beautifully, different.
And they are all so different, why did I ever think I could feel the exact same about each of them? That's something I'll never, ever get over. Being able to abundantly love three children equally AMAZES me. The ways and love of God AMAZE me.
Either way. We took some impromptu family pictures this morning so I could order Christmas cards and here are a few pictures we captured along the way...
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| Daddy's little girl... |
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| Benjamin wanted to be in all of the pictures... haha. |
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| We just...have something that's unspeakable... |
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| I can't lie -- she smiles for me like no one else! |
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| Real life, folks! Three kids makes you tired like this ;) |
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| She really does enjoy him...just not after 20 minutes of pictures. |
Friday, October 25, 2013
Wingding!
Benjamin's school put on a Western themed fall festival -- and called it a "Wingding"! It was so much fun! We all dressed up in our Western gear and enjoyed an evening of playing games, eating chili, dunking teachers in the dunk tank, bull riding and bouncy house playing!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Oh hey!
While it seems that we have been lost this summer, take heart, we are very present. We have enjoyed so much over the last several weeks and I just haven't had time to sit down and write about it. In fact, there are many things swirling in my head and I want to process them -- I just haven't got there yet :)
Here are just a few things we have been up to over the last two months:
*Working HARD to earn our prizes from the library's summer reading program. Benjamin is so motivated and has really taken to reading at leisure and asking a lot of book questions.
*Many library trips with book choices usually including snakes, sharks, other random sea life, the solar system, planets, rocks, castles, knights and science related things. And Andrew always chooses a book about dinosaurs or trains.
*A super fun visit with Aunt Kate and her boyfriend Mike. They were here for about six days before Kate took off to Chicago to start a new job. The boys LOVED Mike {it was our first time meeting him} and we were all able to relax and have a lot of fun together. It was a sweet visit, for sure. We all love when Aunt Kate is here {and now Mike, too!}
*A two week road trip to WV/PA. We took three days on the drive there and two on the way back. We were hoping to be there when Kent and Sarah welcomed their baby boy into the world -- but alas, that sweet boy didn't want to come out on time! We can't WAIT to hear about our nephew/cousin soon, though!!! We did a lot on this trip -- spent five days with my mom and John in Morgantown, a few days with Kent and Sarah in Morgantown, four days in PA with Frank and Carol and half of a day in Indiana, PA to catch up with a few old friends.
*I will have A LOT of pictures to post about this trip. This is your {friendly} warning!
*We have made a lot of random crafts, including a Superhero Jet Pack I found on pinterest. That was a hit. But it still doesn't compare {to Benjamin} to baking soda and vinegar. He's such a little scientist.
*We have played at the zoo, played at parks, played with friends, had special lunches and tried new things around the house.
*We did VBS at our church. Neither of my children thought that was super fantastic. They always had fun once there were there, but being away from me for five hours, five days in a row was not their cup of tea. Although now we sing so many songs and talk about the things we learned from VBS -- even a month later!
*I had a cyst removed from my neck. It was only a minor surgery and the cyst was nothing major. But I do have a crazy scar on my neck now! I did learn, though, from that experience that I do not handle seeing my skin in stitches well. Patrick took off the bandage the day after surgery and showed me, then took a picture for me to see all of it. I got nauseous and light headed and almost passed out. I'm such a wimp.
*We painted our entire down stairs gray. It's nice and neutral and uniform.
*I was called to jury duty. Luckily it was only one day and I was released after about four hours.
*Baby girl now has a name and her room is practically ready. Which is great because I'm hoping she does not stay inside of me until October! But with 11 weeks left, we are in the final countdown. She's growing like crazy and I'm starting to feel the difference of the third pregnancy {stretched ligaments, summer heat, and exhaustion -- oh my!}
*And as a random note: My basil has grown so well this year. So well that I can't use it all. Anyone need basil!? :)
Here are just a few things we have been up to over the last two months:
*Working HARD to earn our prizes from the library's summer reading program. Benjamin is so motivated and has really taken to reading at leisure and asking a lot of book questions.
*Many library trips with book choices usually including snakes, sharks, other random sea life, the solar system, planets, rocks, castles, knights and science related things. And Andrew always chooses a book about dinosaurs or trains.
*A super fun visit with Aunt Kate and her boyfriend Mike. They were here for about six days before Kate took off to Chicago to start a new job. The boys LOVED Mike {it was our first time meeting him} and we were all able to relax and have a lot of fun together. It was a sweet visit, for sure. We all love when Aunt Kate is here {and now Mike, too!}
*A two week road trip to WV/PA. We took three days on the drive there and two on the way back. We were hoping to be there when Kent and Sarah welcomed their baby boy into the world -- but alas, that sweet boy didn't want to come out on time! We can't WAIT to hear about our nephew/cousin soon, though!!! We did a lot on this trip -- spent five days with my mom and John in Morgantown, a few days with Kent and Sarah in Morgantown, four days in PA with Frank and Carol and half of a day in Indiana, PA to catch up with a few old friends.
*I will have A LOT of pictures to post about this trip. This is your {friendly} warning!
*We have made a lot of random crafts, including a Superhero Jet Pack I found on pinterest. That was a hit. But it still doesn't compare {to Benjamin} to baking soda and vinegar. He's such a little scientist.
*We have played at the zoo, played at parks, played with friends, had special lunches and tried new things around the house.
*We did VBS at our church. Neither of my children thought that was super fantastic. They always had fun once there were there, but being away from me for five hours, five days in a row was not their cup of tea. Although now we sing so many songs and talk about the things we learned from VBS -- even a month later!
*I had a cyst removed from my neck. It was only a minor surgery and the cyst was nothing major. But I do have a crazy scar on my neck now! I did learn, though, from that experience that I do not handle seeing my skin in stitches well. Patrick took off the bandage the day after surgery and showed me, then took a picture for me to see all of it. I got nauseous and light headed and almost passed out. I'm such a wimp.
*We painted our entire down stairs gray. It's nice and neutral and uniform.
*I was called to jury duty. Luckily it was only one day and I was released after about four hours.
*Baby girl now has a name and her room is practically ready. Which is great because I'm hoping she does not stay inside of me until October! But with 11 weeks left, we are in the final countdown. She's growing like crazy and I'm starting to feel the difference of the third pregnancy {stretched ligaments, summer heat, and exhaustion -- oh my!}
*And as a random note: My basil has grown so well this year. So well that I can't use it all. Anyone need basil!? :)
Sunday, May 12, 2013
I am still a mom...
I can't help of think of the five years that I really, desperately wanted to be celebrated on Mother's Day. My womb was barren and my body broken. I simply cried silent tears and prayed longingly that God would bless my arms with babies. He did and I'm eternally grateful.
Patrick and I talk often of the joys and pains of having children. With two under our belts {but by no means are we experienced!} and one on the way, we are delighted and overjoyed to know this adventure {especially together!}. Somedays we talk of having more and more babies, somedays three seems like it will be a great {and challenging} number. Always in these conversations I find myself going on and on about one thing: the treasure and richness of being a mother.
I will say this to the day I die: I would rather be poor and living in a shack with ten children than have everything I've ever wanted materially. Nothing in this world -- not one thing -- would ever, ever give me as much joy and satisfaction as my children do. What a privilege to raise these babies with my husband and watch them grow! They will always be the greatest gifts God has given me {aside from Patrick. he is my favoritest!}. Everything else is just -- stuff. But these boys, and our sweet girl, they are precious treasures I've been given to love and care for. THAT IS MY JOB! Praise God He is able, because I couldn't do it without Him!
Today was a sweet, sweet day. The Patrick and the boys made me breakfast and wrote/colored in my Mother's Day book. Benjamin told me "Happy Mother's Day" over and over again. Andrew told me "Happy Birthday" a few times, but I knew what he meant ;) But today, truly, was just another day.
I got ready with two little boys under my feet and in my closet -- because I am still a mom...
We went to church and I stayed a few extra minutes in Andrew's class until his teacher arrived -- because I am still a mom...
We were going to have brunch at my favorite restaurant, but they were booked for an hour -- so we went somewhere more kid friendly and with better timing. I knew what the boys could handle -- because I am still a mom...
I made a grocery list and a meal plan for this week, then went to the grocery store so we could have dinner -- because I am still a mom...
I made dinner and cookies -- because I am still a mom...
I cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry -- because I am still a mom...
Just because it's Mother's Day does not give me the day off. In fact, it makes me remember why I do my "work" in the first place. And I'm reminded that even if Mother's Day didn't exist, I would do the same thing -- a day for mothers or not.
I have spent so many of my motherhood days in a selfish and self righteous state. I'm certainly not saying I'm no longer a selfish person, just that motherhood changes your view of self -- especially after two babies! I felt entitled to this or that, I expected all I wanted and that my way needed to be the only way. I wanted to be waited on and cared for, instead of do the waiting and caring. I wanted to sit back and take it easy, when really my job is to serve and care for my husband and boys {not that we don't need a break sometimes ;)}. And this wasn't just on Mother's Day, but every day.
Motherhood is not a job of selfishness and entitlement! It is the exact opposite -- joyfully sacrificing yourself daily to care for these little people who are helpless without you. And it's not always easy, but it is absolutely worth it. I would rather live sacrificially than selfishly any day!
So these days I'm so content to make dinner and change diapers and watch little boys shoot arrows. I love to listen to stories and do the laundry and wash dishes and hand out homemade cookies. It's so filling to get hugs and kisses and to laugh at silly moments that no one else sees or experiences. I am still their mom...lucky me.
These everyday moments are my moments, tiny gifts from the Lord, made for me to love and enjoy and cherish. These little acts of service are nothing compared to the way God cares for me. And these little boys need a momma -- and I'm humbled and willing to be all that God has called me to be for them.
Patrick and I talk often of the joys and pains of having children. With two under our belts {but by no means are we experienced!} and one on the way, we are delighted and overjoyed to know this adventure {especially together!}. Somedays we talk of having more and more babies, somedays three seems like it will be a great {and challenging} number. Always in these conversations I find myself going on and on about one thing: the treasure and richness of being a mother.
I will say this to the day I die: I would rather be poor and living in a shack with ten children than have everything I've ever wanted materially. Nothing in this world -- not one thing -- would ever, ever give me as much joy and satisfaction as my children do. What a privilege to raise these babies with my husband and watch them grow! They will always be the greatest gifts God has given me {aside from Patrick. he is my favoritest!}. Everything else is just -- stuff. But these boys, and our sweet girl, they are precious treasures I've been given to love and care for. THAT IS MY JOB! Praise God He is able, because I couldn't do it without Him!
Today was a sweet, sweet day. The Patrick and the boys made me breakfast and wrote/colored in my Mother's Day book. Benjamin told me "Happy Mother's Day" over and over again. Andrew told me "Happy Birthday" a few times, but I knew what he meant ;) But today, truly, was just another day.
I got ready with two little boys under my feet and in my closet -- because I am still a mom...
We went to church and I stayed a few extra minutes in Andrew's class until his teacher arrived -- because I am still a mom...
We were going to have brunch at my favorite restaurant, but they were booked for an hour -- so we went somewhere more kid friendly and with better timing. I knew what the boys could handle -- because I am still a mom...
I made a grocery list and a meal plan for this week, then went to the grocery store so we could have dinner -- because I am still a mom...
I made dinner and cookies -- because I am still a mom...
I cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry -- because I am still a mom...
Just because it's Mother's Day does not give me the day off. In fact, it makes me remember why I do my "work" in the first place. And I'm reminded that even if Mother's Day didn't exist, I would do the same thing -- a day for mothers or not.
I have spent so many of my motherhood days in a selfish and self righteous state. I'm certainly not saying I'm no longer a selfish person, just that motherhood changes your view of self -- especially after two babies! I felt entitled to this or that, I expected all I wanted and that my way needed to be the only way. I wanted to be waited on and cared for, instead of do the waiting and caring. I wanted to sit back and take it easy, when really my job is to serve and care for my husband and boys {not that we don't need a break sometimes ;)}. And this wasn't just on Mother's Day, but every day.
Motherhood is not a job of selfishness and entitlement! It is the exact opposite -- joyfully sacrificing yourself daily to care for these little people who are helpless without you. And it's not always easy, but it is absolutely worth it. I would rather live sacrificially than selfishly any day!
So these days I'm so content to make dinner and change diapers and watch little boys shoot arrows. I love to listen to stories and do the laundry and wash dishes and hand out homemade cookies. It's so filling to get hugs and kisses and to laugh at silly moments that no one else sees or experiences. I am still their mom...lucky me.
These everyday moments are my moments, tiny gifts from the Lord, made for me to love and enjoy and cherish. These little acts of service are nothing compared to the way God cares for me. And these little boys need a momma -- and I'm humbled and willing to be all that God has called me to be for them.
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| Chair sharing. Cookie eating. |
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| Enjoying. |
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| Brotherly love. |
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| I couldn't do life without this man. We are the perfect team and he brings me abundant joy! |
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| Series of photo bombs...1 |
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| 2 |
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| 3 |
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| Baby bump at 19 weeks. |
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| This guy, he started my mommy journey. And he was worth the wait! |
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| My boys! Also, a sitting position is NOT a flattering position for a pregnant woman. FYI. |
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| Losing them. |
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| You know, real life pictures are the best kinds... Happy Mother's Day! {Especially to my mom and mother-in-law!} |
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