Silver bells

"Busy sidewalks, city sidewalks, dressed in holiday style, in the air there's a feeling of Christmas..."

I love Christmas music. I love Christmas. This time of the year just has a special feel to it. I don't know if I could explain it. There is a joy that rises up in me as I think about singing Christmas carols, shopping, wrapping and giving, and spending time with family.

Christmas comes earlier every year and with each new year people get more focused on themselves. That makes me so sad. Unfortunately, I'm included in that group of "people".
I always make Christmas out to be so much more than it is in my head. To me it's this extravagant event where everyone is happy and all things are good. It's a time when everyone loves and hugs and enjoys one another. It never turns out that way and I'm left disappointed with another Christmas time. My desire this year is to remember what I have and Who has given it to me. I desire to remember Jesus and that we are celebrating Him and not me. I want Christmas to be something special not because of the presents I get or give, but because of the Savior I have.

I know that this Christmas will be different. I can't imagine what it will be like without my dad. I got sad the other day when I realized that I wouldn't get a birthday card from my dad this year...or every year from now on. I wish I would have kept every card he had ever given me, but I didn't. I want to remember that Christmas is still Christmas and it's still about Jesus with or without my dad. That's going to be hard, but I want to make sure I'm giving God the glory and not taking it away because I'm mourning the loss of my father.