Live by Faith!

I find it interesting at how God works in each of our lives. I love that He is so sweet to offer us encouragement, correction or direction if we sit down and really indulge in Him. Surely, we don't deserve such wisdom and love from the Lord. We are all disobedient, sinful creatures.

Yesterday, I was praying for faith. Things in the past several weeks and things that will be happening in the next several weeks (months, years) are overwhelming to me. There are things that I most certainly don't want, out of selfishness, and things that I want now (out of selfishness). I find it hard to consider what our future may look like, when I don't want things that other people in my life want. I get so consumed with "what if" and "what about me" that I don't allow myself to be consumed with the Lord (Who knows my past, present and FUTURE).

I read Hebrews 10:19-39 yesterday and concluded, among other things, that these verses may be some of my favorites. The whole passage caused notes to overflow into my journal. Thoughts on each verse are scribbled down in an effort to get out all that these words caused me to think and feel. It was the last two verses that really shook me though:
"But my righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him. But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul" Heb 10:38-39

Ah...well there is my faith answer! My heart aches, knowing that I do shrink back. Alone or with others, I so often shy away from words that need to be said or things that need to be done out of faith. All too often, I choose the easy way. I confess that most days, I choose to live on my own, knowing that living by faith will cause me to lose myself. Oh, but how I long to lose myself in the living and powerful God!

A battle of flesh and spirit wages war within me, each fighting desperately to prevail. I long to aid my spirit, by seeking the Lord, choosing the Lord, rather than choosing myself. Do I even consider to live in the presence and power of Jesus? He lived and died and rose again to make a way into the Holy Place for me and for you. Am I living in the confidence of the Gospel, of Jesus Christ, my Savior?

I do long to live by faith and I don't doubt that God will give me opportunities to do so. I know that my faith cannot survive unless tested and refined. I know that my God is faithful and works for the good of those who love Him. So, why, when given the chance to be faithful to the One who is always faithful to me, I turn away and choose myself? May I no longer sin willingly, but live by faith willingly. I truly desire to live by the power of the cross and to be one who does not shrink back to destruction.

"It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God." Hebrews 10:31