This and that

The last week has been hard. I'm so tired and so worn out. It's just been that kind of week. I'm glad it's Wednesday!

We've finished the third, and final, round of clomid. Patrick and I decided over the weekend that if this round doesn't work, we're not coming back to clomid. We'll move on to artificial insemination or adoption. This round just about took everything out of me. I think it was because we did round two and three back to back.

Mentally, emotionally, physically - I was a mess! To top it off, I had to drive to Pittsburgh on Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday for blood work. My doctor was concerned with my levels on day 15 (Saturday), so I had to go back. The levels still didn't rise, so I had to go back again. Finally, my levels surged yesterday. I think it was God's goodness because I cried for a while on the drive home.

Father's day was hard this year. I was slightly naive to think it wouldn't be. I knew I was in trouble when I was buying Father's Day cards and started crying. I expected all of the "firsts" to be hard, but the seconds? It was and I cried for a while throughout the day. I didn't expect anyone to remember that Father's day would be hard for me, even myself.

On a better note, I'm reading Romans with a friend and I'm being challenged daily. It's been so incredible to study this book. Church has been so encouraging too. I feel like I've been learning so much about who God is and how to respond to that. I think I'm starting to learn what it looks like, although I'm not doing well at it, to live in response to who God is in my life. Sadly, I'm seeing how often I don't do this and how it reflects my faith, my witness and my testimony. I'm continually grateful and amazed at God's grace.

Today is a day I've declared as my easy day. After the last ten days, I need a break. So, I'm going to go now and get my oil changed, make a few phone calls to schedule appointments, read a magazine, finish the laundry, bake some oatmeal squares and take my friends kids for a walk.