I really, really wanted to be one of those women who love being pregnant. The ones who love their bodies and embrace every change. Oh, those are good women. I know by the end, no one really loves being pregnant and just wants that baby - but don't humor me now, I'm venting.
Today, I tried to wear my size six jeans. The rubber band trick has gotten me this far with a size eight, so I thought I would give it a whirl. No. They were too tight. All but one pair of jeans fit me right now and I know I'm pregnant and I know this is a great time in my life and blah, blah, blah. This is really hard for me. What was I thinking? I should have been wearing my size six jeans until the eight were better.
I'm vain. I liked the way my body looked before. I liked flat abs and toned muscles. I like being athletic and in shape. For the very first time in my life, I realized that I cared for my body and loved what I had been given. This baby is a blessing and I love that I get to be a mom in five and a half months, but getting over myself is by far harder than being sick for three months.
I know I'm at a tough spot in pregnancy. I'm at the end of my 16th week. I can't feel the baby move. I can only wear maternity shirts because of the size of my boobs (thanks, progesterone!). The maternity jeans that I bought (that I actually like - maybe because they are from Gap...) are huge because the lady said I should by an eight because I would only get bigger. Thanks, lady at Gap. So here I am. Big jeans held together by a little blue rubber band. Maternity shirt that's a little big, but it's longer. Weight gaining on parts of my body that haven't been flabby for quite some time.
I can only hope that I stop feeling ugly and fat and gross soon. I want to feel pregnant and look pregnant (although I may not want that since it only gets worse...). I'm done venting. Don't say anything that would hurt my feelings worse please, I'm rather sensitive.
10 comments:
Oh, my pretty princess Ashley! You are so beautiful! I love you!!
Vent on sister! No one can possibly like gaining all that weight. Wait until you waddle because of it. Cute, real cute. And, have you already learned that NONE of the maternity clothes actually last all 9 months?! What a marketing ploy! I bought two different pairs of jeans - one for the first half and had to buy another towards the end. Dresses became my best bet - great for not digging into the ever expanding waistline!
Yes, I do remember that feeling! I would think, "can people tell I'm pregnant or do I just look like I'm wearing big clothing for no reason?" It is a strange inbetween phase, clothing wise! Hang in there! I didn't particularly like being pregnant either, but I did like the end result beautiful baby!
I'll just say hang in there. You are not the first person to feel this way, so don't let that get you down, ok? You will soon be past the "no I'm not fat, I'm pregnant" stage and I hope that then you'll feel a little better.
I felt like a Teletubby between weeks 12-20.
Keep in mind that you lose it. As a fellow struggle-with-weight-woman this is comforting. I lost all and then some with Libby and I am only 5 pounds out since Joe (and I gained 45). And I don't lose weight easily. So if you can, try to enjoy eating what you want and knowing that it does come off
Don't worry this is a short phase. You will wake up one morning and have your cute little belly. I LOVED being pregnant, and I do remember feeling like you, but like I said, it was a short period. Remember you will be getting bigger, but as you get bigger you know your baby is too. This prepares you for how selfless you have to be as a mother. Just try to remember how much you want this, and how lucky you are. You are growing a beautiful baby that you and your husband created. Now when you say you are tired, and people asked you what you did today you can tell them you grew an arm, or leg, or ears....lol...I loved saying that!! Who can compete with that...lol!!!!
Man oh man, I remember those struggles! I never knew how selfish I truly was until I had children. I wanted my OWN body, my own time, my own cookies ;) mine mine mine! Don't worry about the number on the tag, just wear what you are comfortable in & still flatters you. I started in size 6 maternity pants and outgrew (I can admit this now) size 16 maternity pants! Whoa! With eating well and a little time & exercise (& breastfeeding if you choose to), the weight will melt off.
~beth chase~
buy a tummy band (aka belly/bella band)! I wore mine starting in week 8 because I couldn't stand anything touching my stomach. It will help make your 8 jeans fit better. I'm wearing mine again now so I can wear my old jeans again, but I can't fit into my 6s yet either, still in the 8s. The band isn't expensive, about $16 at Motherhood Maternity. And it did make me feel better and not so huge in maternity clothes. We all know the feeling of too big maternity clothes, but soon you'll fill them out, and it does get a bit more exciting. Feel free to email or call and vent to me anytime, and we'll have to find a time for you to come over or to meet up.
i remember a mom saying to me, "the first thing you sacrifice for your child is your body" and i just wanted to smack her.
Post a Comment