Today has been...long...to say the least. It's not too often that I get worn out by simply going about our daily chores, errands and playing. Today, though, is one of those days.
As I type, Benjamin is hanging onto the gate by the kitchen. Swinging back and forth on it and babbling about something. Making raspberries with his lips every once in a while. Squealing. I think he's having a good time, then he starts shrieking for no apparent reason and making his squishy face. He's crawling to me as fast as he can and now, he's pulling on my legs. I think he wants me to hold him.
It all started with him waking up early. I brought him into bed with us to try to get a little more sleep. He slept, a little, and we got up to start our day when Patrick was leaving for work. It was a good morning, I'd say. We played. We had fun. We didn't even watch Good Morning America! I think the rest of the whole day is my fault. I wanted to wait until 9 to put him down for his morning nap, when clearly he was ready at 8:30. Never do this. Thirty minutes does make a difference!
I tried to put him down several times and then just let him cry for a few minutes. He fell asleep and then promptly woke up (20 minutes later). Ah, a little nap is better than no nap, yes? No. This only made my fussy and now tired baby even more miserable.
We played and snacked and were glad to see daddy home for lunch. Things are so much nicer where there is someone else around on hard days. It's nice to have adult conversation. It's nice to tag team. It's nice to be on a team. We watched Patrick drive away and both waved happily, but maybe with a little hesitation.
I was changing B's diaper before his nap this afternoon and noticed some weirdness in it, so I sat it aside (so I could examine it later) and finished changing him. We're in a stage now that diaper changing is an all out fight and brings nothing but drama. This was topped today by Benjamin grabbing a wipe. From the diaper. With poop all over it. This, my friends, means that my child now had poop all over his hands and arm. I cleaned him up and then took his to his room.
He did take a nap this afternoon, but he wasn't happy when he woke up. I could have run a few errands, but I didn't want to deal with the babe having a meltdown while we were out. At least I know my limits :) I think most of his snack ended up under the couch and I think I cleaned it up enough for him to certainly digest dirt and dust bunnies to last him this whole week. I wish I could tell you that I love when Benjamin is clingy and fussy. It's hard, somedays.
I heard Benjamin race into the living room this afternoon. I walked in and found him hanging on the window seal, waving and saying "dada". I think we were both ready for daddy to come home. Today was a day where you could find both of us staring out the window, waiting for back-up, longing for daddy.
You know, these days come and they go. At the end of the day, I know we survived and that we're not scarred or traumatized for making it how ever possible. And it all seems to drift away as my little baby looks up at me with those bright blue eyes and sweet little face and babbles something affectionate, I'm sure.