I did the usual five days of clomid, but this time I went in for ultrasounds to check my follicle development. When I went in on day 15 of my cycle, there were three huge follicles. I mean, ready.to.go. I was so excited that my body was that responsive this time around!!! When we did treatments the first time I only ever had one follicle. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous that we could end up with six babies (you know if each one had an egg and they multiplied). At the end of my appointment I was told that I would get an hcg trigger shot. This would basically ensure that I ovulate. And I did, 36 hours later. It was awful. So much pain. Ugh!
All through this, though, I was learning and growing in ways that only the Lord could do. I was healing in places that I didn't realize that were wounded. I was seeking Him like I haven't in so long. Not because I wanted something, but because I wanted Him. My sin was deeply revealed through this process. My lack of trust. My foolish doubt. My desire to make the plans and take the glory. Oh, it has been a beautifully painful process!
I doubted that this round would work. I mean, it didn't the first time. Well, it did. But we had a miscarriage. So, I was simply convinced that this time around would be identical. Miscarriage, nothing, baby. Done. How silly of my to limit the Creator of the world! Good grief.
As the days went on, I didn't "feel" pregnant. I didn't think it worked because things didn't happen or feel like they did when I got pregnant with Benjamin. No, I was just waiting to be right and look at God and say, "Ha. I knew I was right". I wasn't. God was, per usual. And now that I look at all of this, I never would have learned this sin or my lesson if I didn't get pregnant. (ok. I'm sure God could have worked it out, but He was kind to me. I know this.)
I took a home pregnancy test (HPT) on day 27, knowing I could get a false positive because of lingering hcg. Patrick was getting ready to go out of town and I wanted to know something before he left. Positive! I was a little shocked and mostly skeptical. I took another test on day 29, obviously. Another positive. Oh boy! Finally, I took another one on day 31 and it was positive! I also had my beta test done that day too. May I mention that with B I didn't get a positive until day 31 of my cycle and my beta numbers were 189. (I'm not sure why I remember this).
The nurse called later in the day and said, "Well, we wanted to see your numbers at 140. They are 367. You are definitely pregnant." Oh.my.soul. It worked. God worked. I was, am, so humbled and so grateful. We had an ultrasound at 5 weeks and 2 days to confirm the pregnancy and we saw the gestational sac and a little tiny bean. We had another ultrasound at 6 weeks and 2 days and heard (and saw) the heartbeat! It's always amazing to me to see a little new life being guarded and protected and growing like crazy INSIDE me.
My body is responding so well to pregnancy. I feel awful and I'm so thankful. I do not have to take progesterone this time around (Praise the Lord!) because my levels were good. Friends, do you see how incredible the Lord is?! Magnify His Name with me, He is certainly worthy of all praise and deserves all glory!
Aside from being completely and utterly exhausted and terribly nauseous (which reminds me of my pregnancy with B) - I'm doing good. I'm still working out and being a mom and a wife :) I will say, naively, that I never thought it would be so hard and exhausting to care for a toddler and be pregnant. I know now :)
I'm 7 weeks and my "due date" is June 2, 2011. I think that's all I want to tell you. Thanks for reading all of this! I'm so excited to share this new journey with you. I'm excited to seek the Lord and praise Him through this. This experience has certainly made me nothing but grateful and completely in awe of God's kindness and sovereignty.