Wednesday, July 13, 2011

My little flock...

Morning start early around here.

B wakes up no later than 6:37am {I joke not!}
AR is awake anywhere between 5:30 and 7

Mornings can be hard. Especially after long nights.
Even more difficult without a good, godly perspective.

What do you wake up thinking about?

For me, usually: coffee. being tired. getting food. how stinking early it is. how hard it is to get up early and not have time to myself.

Just being honest.

But the more I pray and seek the Lord to be joyful and content where He has me, in this very season of early mornings and {sometimes} long days. This season of sippy cups and snacks, diaper changes and very routine schedules. This season of tears and discipline, of laughter and tickles. This season of teeny, tiny boys watching me and asking me and growing with me. The more I give myself to the Lord and rest in Him, rely on Him, the more I love waking up.

And I don't wake up thinking about me, but Jesus.

His mercies are new every morning. And lucky for me, my boys help me experience those a littler earlier than I would get to if it were up to me! I'm grateful for that mercy. God's unfailing, never ending mercy. I'm grateful for God's strength. Because I can't mother well without Him. I simply fail miserably and struggle desperately without relying on Him. {believe me. I know this. and God has shown me this over and over the last few weeks}

And He made me a momma. God created ME to be the momma of Benjamin and Andrew - not to make me happy - but to make me holy and to bring glory to God. Being a momma isn't about me. It's all about Jesus. And when I see it that way, well, I can only imagine the joy and love and pleasure that will come from being a momma.

This passage has changed me, lately:
"...shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those alloted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock." 1 Peter 5:2-3

I want to love and shepherd my little flock to the glory of God. I want to be a godly example to my boys - with love and patience that can only come from the Lord. Not being easily frustrated and selfish. I want to be intentional with them and mindful of them. God made me for my flock, and my little flock was made just for me.

What an honor and privilege. What a beautiful way for God to constantly remind me that it's not about me. Life isn't about me.

What a truly humbling realization.
What an incredibly gracious gift - my life is about Jesus.

2 comments:

young wife&mom said...

funny ashley...i got the exact same passage about a week ago after a rough parenting week with almost the exact same lesson you learned.
thanks for sharing!

theroyalgarcias said...

Wow. That passage made me shudder... What an incredible word. Now I think I have to go and think on that one for a while! Love you. :)