This year we started the Blended model at our school. The boys go to school on Monday and Wednesday each week, then are home on Tuesday and Thursday for school. The model is designed not to have scheduled work on Fridays! This makes for a nice long weekend most weeks. Only a few of those Friday's have included leftover or take-a-break-until-tomorrow work. The curriculum is already chosen to be in line with the traditional five-day-model, so we order what we are told and work with the teacher who assigns the weeks work.
I never thought I would be a homeschool mom. I like my time and I like being spontaneous and as schedule free as I can, usually. Although, being a mom in general makes me live on a more structured schedule. But over the last three years, God has been softening my heart and leading me to ask questions. Patrick had a lot of questions and concerns, so it wasn't something we pursued much until last year.
Benjamin had struggled so much in First grade with keeping up in class and bringing home so much homework. In FIRST grade. That school year brought so many discouraging questions and a steady flow of tears -- from him and me each afternoon. Two things to note, in hindsight: That was also the year that Caleb was born and had skull surgery {and everyone in our family felt the weight of that!} and we now know that Kindergarten was somewhat of a disadvantage to him as he was quiet and obedient and didn't require much pushing. So while we thought he was doing 100%, it was probably more so his compliance and less of his comprehension. AND we didn't do anything during the summer before First grade, except reading.
Maybe we should have held him back at some point, maybe we were right in not. I suppose it doesn't matter now, but it was something we considered a few times and never took action. But he's doing fine and I think that we did what seemed best at the time and the Lord has been gracious in this journey for us. We want our children to love learning and growing. That doesn't always look like being in a classroom, but it can and proves effective! We want our children to be pushed and see their potential, but also have the freedom to figure out things in their own ways and in their own time.
Fast forward to August 2016. We were driving to visit some friends and had hours to talk. After a few casual mentions of doing blended or homeschooling, I threw it at Patrick with great conviction and a desire to share the depths of my heart. I truly wanted to be more involved with our children's school days, I felt saddened and convicted that over the course of 13 years there would be 13 other people {at least} teaching my children and seeing them more than me or Patrick, and I didn't want any of our children to grow to hate school or be apathetic toward learning and working hard. The Lord was moving in my heart and it felt a little overwhelming to be saying such bold statements about schooling our children and changing the path our family seemed to be on. Looking back, that was just the beginning of paths shifting and hearts changing.
Patrick was truly against homeschooling. He had some legit concerns and had heard of some unfortunate cases of homeschooling gone bad. He was worried about me doing something like school at home, when I can barely keep up with the house some days! Add having four kids to that and I'm inconsistent at best in doing all that needs to be done. {A weak area that the Lord continually works in, through and around me in! PS, with all of that said: I'm a great meal planner. haha}
So right then and there, I committed to learning as much as I could about the Blended model and homeschooling in general. I bought an hour-by-hour planner and spent the Fall semester keeping track of myself and setting pseudo-schedules for our home. I met with, called and asked a thousand questions to friends who did Blended or homeschooled. I prayed constantly for direction and unity and for my conviction to be from the Lord, and not from a selfish or proud motive. The more I talked with other moms, the more I felt ready to do this! We met with the principal and teachers at the school to talk with them. I felt so prepared and educated on something that seemed so out of character for me to pursue.
And then three months later when we had to consider the next school year, Patrick and I talked again. I came to our conversation prepared and ready to defend my conviction. But I didn't need to because the Lord had softened Patrick's heart and gave him a desire to see what Blended would look like for our family. My heart flipped and praised Jesus for answering this prayer. Within days of making this decision together, I felt so free and light from this burden. I felt like we were walking in obedience and stepping out in faith toward something that seemed equally terrifying and perfect for our family.
We talked with the boys over and over about this decision and their biggest concern was missing their friends. We prayed for them and encouraged them. And since school has began, they are seeing their old friends and making new ones. More so, though, it's brought up some incredible life lessons that we've been able to teach them about friendships!
Doing Blended has been a hard adjustment. It's meant taking four kids a lot of places, rescheduling, rearranging and being home a lot. It's meant looking for the best way for the boys to learn and where they are struggling. It looks like walking through things that don't make sense and talking through why we need to learn math and grammar. It looks like learning Latin with my Third grader so we can not fail Latin! It looks like "off campus lunch" when we need to get out of the house or when we've worked really hard to be done by 11:30am. It looks like taking a break to go to the Science Museum or the Zoo because we can. It looks like Free Funday Friday's and making the most of this beautiful schooling option.
There have been tears and threats and words spoken harshly. There have been sibling fights and disagreements. BUT there are such sweet moments and goodness swirled up with the hard -- isn't that just life, though? There have been days, especially as we find our rhythm and figure some things out, that I wish we were exclusively homeschooling. When maybe we don't need to rush through somethings on Tuesday to make sure they are ready for Wednesday. Those "crunch days" can feel overwhelming. Or when I would want to consider doing a different book for literature or having a say in the curriculum choices. But for now, this is working and it feels like the Lord has us here for such a time as this. Maybe I was created for this purpose all along? I'm so glad the Lord lead us and pushed us to see what He had for us in this chapter.
Even more, when Patrick and I are talking about what's next for our family or what adventures we want to take, places we want to explore, potential moves we may make, homeschooling frees us up to do them and it's become a desired part of what our family looks like right now. It may be a pretty hard 180 degree shift, full of constant sanctification and change, but I couldn't be more delighted in what the Lord has done and how He is moving and growing us and allowing us this opportunity.
I don't know what's next or how long we will homeschool, but I pray often that we would be better for it and I already see the Lord meeting us there.
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