Modesty in Marriage

What a touchy subject! I have been searching God's Word and a few other resources for wisdom on modesty. There are few books and such that are willing to confront this issue and treat it with the attention it deserves.

I tend to think that being modest is only an issue before marriage, not during. But recently, I would argue differently. I use to wear some scandalous clothes. In high school, my shorts didn't come past my upper thigh. It wasn't until I got to Tennessee that a good friend talked with me about the issues clothes bring to a friendship (or any man for that matter) with the opposite sex. It was hard to hear that I the clothes I wore were making a guy friend struggle! My heart was hurt and I was convicted! Slowly, I purchased new clothing. It was like becoming a new creation, just with my wardrobe.

It took me quite some time to realize that being modest and hip don't have to be so far apart. There are great stores that offer modest clothing and are up to date with today's fashion scene (in a very respectable way!). So now, I find myself checking the mirror several times after I put something on not because I want too look hot or to check myself out (ok, sometimes I do!), but because I want what I wear to reflect my relationship with the LORD. Do people notice my outfit or my body before they notice my love for Jesus? I don't know. I hope they see my heart first.

As I have been looking into the topic my heart has been so broken for what guys have to go through. This may not have been a big issue before, but now I have a husband and I respect him enough to care for his purity. I've thought of a few reasons why modesty is marriage is important, let me share:

1. Modesty in Marriage is important because our bodies are God's temple and our husbands treasure. (1 Corinthians 6:9; Song of Solomon 4:9-11; SOS 7:6, 10)
- I don't want the world to see parts of my body that were meant for my husbands eyes only. I want to keep those things covered up! Some of those parts are obvious and other may not be. Have you thought about how much your husband likes your stomach? Do you show that off? What about your legs? Is he the only one who sees most of your legs or is the world?

2. Modesty in marriage is important because it keeps intimacy charged and desire in the home strong. ( SOS 8:4)
-This means that what you wear in public doesn't match what you wear to bed at night with your husband. If he sees a lot of your body during all other times, what is left to long for and desire when you wear something similar to bed?

3. Modesty in marriage is important because it pleases God and it follows His Word. (1 Peter 3:3-4; Proverbs 31:30)
- God has called us to a higher standard of living. While we are in this world, we don't have to be like it. We need to dress modestly because we trust that the word of God is true and won't lead us in the wrong direction.

4. Modesty in Marriage is important because it fights against the lust of our husbands and the husbands of others. (Romans 7:15-20; Romans 14:13-23)
- I most certainly don't want the way I dress be a reason that someone is stumbling and I don't want the way other women dress to make my man stumble. Since we know lust is an issue, why aren't we being more cautious of the way we dress?

5. Modesty in marriage is important because it allows purity to become a standard in our home. ( Titus 1:15; Psalm 119:9; Hebrews 13:4)
- Wouldn't it be amazing if we were able to talk with all women who are wives and mothers about this issue and they were able to change the way they dress so that their daughters, sisters, nieces, could see that they don't have to follow the worldly standards of dress? If our standard in the home is purity and modesty then our children see this, our friends see this and it becomes a way of life now and in future generations.

6. Modesty in marriage is important because we love and respect our husbands. (Ephesians 5:33; Proverbs 31:11)
- I must say that guys have a hard job. They are commanded to present us to Jesus "without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" (Eph 5:25-27). I am so thankful for this. And as I was thinking about this. I realized that I wanted to love and respect my husband enough to fight for his heart and purity in the area of sexual temptation. All guys struggle with this at some point. No one is immune to it.

My heart longs to see men, godly men be able to go to church without being distracted in some way by something a gal is wearing. Shouldn't this be the one place our guys can go to seek refuge from the world? (there is also grace for those who come to church who don't know Jesus or don't understand the struggle) I realize that some women don't realize this is an issue, which is why it needs to be discussed. Others see the issue, but continue dressing without modesty. I'm not sure why, but I can think of a few reasons(because I've struggled with these myself and in fact, I have to fight them daily): Pride, attention, selfishness.

The way we dress is a choice. We know what the word of God says, we know what the world says...Let's make the choice to wear clothes that are fashionable and fun, but modest and appropriate. I'm not saying I'm the best dresser, but I want to be. I am not the judge of all hearts and bodies. I am not God and really have no say over what you wear. But know this, I'm making an effort to watch what I wear not just for my husband, but for yours too.