As I was preparing for tea time today, (yes, I have a tea time at 3:30 every day and I really enjoy it!) I was straightening the kitchen for the 12th time today and thinking deeply about my life right now. Here I am in the new place with very little to do and more free time than I've ever had. How am I spending my time? I felt so purposeless. I was sharing that with Patrick and he was very encouraging and quick to remind me that God would not put me where I am without a purpose. Now, I wonder, what is it that He wants me to do?
I get up with Patrick in the morning and make his lunch and by the time I'm done with that and have said my goodbyes, I'm not tired anymore...so I stay up. I put water in my kettle, go upstairs and make the bed and such then come downstairs, make breakfast and sit down at the table. With my tea in one hand and my bible in the other, I spend some time with the Lord and then clean the kitchen. I take Piper out several times and clean the living room (Piper is worse than a child with his toys.) and straighten the dining room. All of this before 9:30am. I often think, "That's it! Are you sure it's not 1:30?"
I really enjoy mornings. I love getting up and taking care of things. Then, I have the rest of the day to do what needs to be done. I appreciate the days when I have someplace to go...the grocery store, volunteering, the laundry mat, running errands, an appointment here or there. It keeps me busy and out of the house long enough to fight off cabin fever. Until tonight, I considered all of this free time ridiculous. But Patrick helped me see the good that is in all of this free time! I have no other obligation than Piper (and my homemaking duties) and that leaves me about 3 hours a day with really not much to do. Patrick suggested that I take the time for myself and really find out "who I am" (this is one of my new year's resolutions: to figure out what I really like and don't like.) and what I enjoy. He suggested that I spend time soaking in God's word...why didn't I think of that? How silly of me to overlook this precious time God has given me to know Him more and learn about myself more.
Tomorrow, I will look forward to my "free time", the time God has purposed that I have. Even in my ignorance, He pursues me. I am unworthy of such Love.
1 comment:
Ashley, I can't help but chuckle b/c your comment reminds me of the movie "Runaway Bride". I hope you've seen it - the part where she decides to find out who she really is. She makes eggs: hard boiled, fried, scrambled, poached; and then tries them all to see which ones she truly enjoys the most.
I'm encouraged to see you in this season to figure out some things about yourself & to realize the fun in that! Just like the tea, you'll discover a lot of things that quietly make you happy.
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