When Benjamin was super tiny, I thought for sure I would never, ever want another baby. When Benjamin was 10 months old, I was ready to think about getting pregnant. And now, I'm ready to have another baby. If only it were that easy!
As most of you know, getting pregnant isn't a strong skill of mine :) Maybe you don't know this about me, but I'll tell you: I loooooove kids! In fact, I would have as many kids as the Lord would give us! Whether through natural conception, fertility treatments or adoption - we want at least 4 or 5 kiddos around here.
Psalm 127:3-5a says this: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them..." My prayer lately has been that God would see us fit to be rewarded with a quiver full of children! What a magnificent gift!
I've been amazed and humbled by the Lord over the last few months. He's showing Himself so kind and so faithful. Because of my PCOS, I don't have regular periods and I do not ovulate (which is why having babies is so tough). But after I stopped nursing, I got a period! Yeah! I couldn't believe this and am so grateful that God allowed my body to work. If this wasn't enough, I got a period the next month too. That's two in a row - which has never, ever happened naturally for me. Plus, I think I ovulated! Well the expired ovulation test told me I did. :)
Friends, this may not be a big deal to you. To me, it's an answer to prayers prayed for years upon years. The last two month of my body functioning properly are simply gifts from the Lord! And I have to say that I was so disappointed that I wasn't pregnant this month (nor did I have a period, but I'm taking every small success with gratitude and joy). How silly to think it is that easy. Or not. People easily get pregnant every day, why would I be any different?
I do know that infertility is our struggle. It's a big trial for us. It's the place where we ask a lot of questions, step out in faith and pray often. Sure, I would love for getting pregnant to be easy the next time around, but I will not take this struggle for granted and miss what the Lord is doing. I won't miss Him in all of this. Because really, that's what it's all about - more of Him and more of His glory.
Who knows what the future holds. God does. And I'm so thankful that I have Him to trust and rely on through it all. I can't stop thinking about Hebrew 10:23, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." He is faithful, indeed and I have hope that God will bring us babies. For His glory and however He sees fit. And to me, that's perfect.