Monday, August 22, 2011


Every Sunday night I throw a small {or large} pity party for myself because I know when I wake up, Patrick will be off to work. "Waa, waa, waa", I say to myself, "Why is it Monday again? Monday's are such a bummer. No husband. Alone with the kids. Waa, waa, waa."

And now that I type that out I kind of want to smack myself. Please know, in a effort to sound a little less selfish and pathetic, that not every Sunday is that bad :) Some pity parties are just "waa-ing". Either way, though, I look forward to a week ahead as much as I should. That is unless we are expecting company or leaving for a trip or doing something really fantastic.

However, I'm here to argue with myself.

Why can't every day be really fantastic? Why can't every Monday be exciting? Why do I dread it so? Because, truly, I love being at home with my boys. I love serving the Lord by caring for them. I love being a homemaker and caring for our home. I love serving Patrick by doing things for him and keeping our home peaceful and welcoming to him. All too often I get caught up in how hard it is to just love where I am - no matter where I am or what I'm doing. I just want things to be easier or better or, you know, about me.

I lack contentment. Simple as that. {and there's a ton of selfishness in there, too}

Yesterday I decided that I don't want to be discontent anymore. Well, actually, I decided that a few weeks ago. But I just started putting it into practice. I went to Starbucks to spend a little time alone. I hope it turns into a weekly tradition. I sat alone and drank coffee. I prayed silently. I people watched. I read my bible. I studied my bible. I wrote in my journal. God prepared me for the week ahead my giving me a godly perspective. He gave me verses to remember and know and memorize. He gave me peace in my struggles. He gave me joy in His word. He gave me confidence to face the week. He gave me contentment - in Him.

So before I throw another pity party, I want to remember that God has called me to be a momma and a wife. This season of life may be hard, but He's willing and ready {and more than capable} to prepare me for the work He has given me.

I want to remember that I'm free from my sin and from playing a victim - because that's really what a pity party is, don't you think? My "poor me" attitude doesn't bring glory to God and it doesn't help me be the best mom and wife I can be. Be gone self-pity! I'd take contentment in Christ any day. I just need to remember to rest in Him and look for contentment in Him {not the world}.

Whether today has been good or bad doesn't matter. I've been prepared. I can rest in, trust in and rely on the One who knows all our days. And in this hard {but quick} season of little boys and early mornings and lots of whining and discipline, I can trust that God has sweet little surprises lined up for me along the way. They may not mean much to you, or to the world, but a little more sleep, learning knock-knock jokes, little kisses and big hugs, learning new words, trying new things and little boy obedience are sweet mercies from the Lord.

As I rely on Him and look to Him to prepare me for each week, each day and each moment of my life I can't imagine how much more rewarding these days will be. I can't imagine how sweet my memories will be. And more that this, I can't imagine how much He will change me and grow me to be more like Him. I can only hope that my boys will gain such a beautiful glimpse of God through me as I constantly pursue Him as I care for them!

Here is my momma prayer: Father, be all that I need. Teach me to rest in, rely on and grow in You. May my life reflect your glory and beauty so much that my children may see You and want to know You. May my heart be so intertwined with Yours that Your ways and will are clearly seen and it's difficult to see myself. May my joy and peace and contentment come from You alone. And Lord, use me however You see fit to preach the gospel to my children every moment of every day. Prepare me for each new day and let me rejoice in Your new mercies and Your faithfulness. Thank You for my little flock. I'm humbled that You've trusted me with them and grateful that You're willing to use me to raise them up in You. Be my strength, be my vision, be my joy, be my endurance and be my light that these days may not be wasted, but treasured! In Jesus' Name - Amen

How do YOU prepare for the week ahead? Are there certain things you pray each day as your raise little babes?

{As I journey through motherhood, it's such a joy for me to share what I'm learning and how I'm growing. I sincerely hope that I'm able to encourage or bless someone who is going through the same thing, or even just beginning their motherhood endeavor! If you're constantly bummed that I write about the same things over and over know that this season is too quick to not reap the blessings and lessons prepared for me. Plus, you can look forward to picture posts :) Cheers!}

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Ashley, I have read your blog for sometime now. I kind of stumbled upon it through a couple of different blogs. But, I love your posts! We are in the same season in life, and it's nice to know I'm not alone in my struggles! I have a 2.5 year old boy and a 10 month old baby girl. And, I'm a new stay-at-home mom. I sometimes dread the week ahead as well and I feel terribly guilt about it, because I've always wanted to stay home with my kids. And, now that I finally get to, I still wish for Friday at the beginning of each week. I need to stop the pity party also! You encourage me to do so! Thanks again for sharing your life, your struggles and your praises!
- Andrea