Sunday, May 20, 2012

Mom thoughts... {a lot of them}

There are days when I long for more babies.  I would take as many as we could have/get.  But there are other days -- when I'm on the verge of pulling my hair out -- that make me question the insanity of more children.  

Having a somewhat strong willed, independent, opinionated first born -- who is high energy and needs a lot of attention -- makes me feel like I'm putting in a lot of work and getting only a little accomplished.  It also makes me feel like I'm not giving Andrew all that he needs because so much of me is given to Benjamin.  And I will tell you quite honestly that my second doesn't get nearly as much attention {one on one} or play time as my first did.  I think that is just life, though.  I would be super amazed to meet a momma who gave every single thing to her second as her first -- especially when they are 26 months apart {or less!!}.

But they adapt.  You adapt. Always.  And, Lord willing, are no worse for the wear.  Either of them!

{Mommy guilt is real, though, and should be prayed over and talked through with great wisdom and rational.  Our job is hard, as a mom, and there are great ways to over come feeling awful, or like a failure, or just simply not good enough.  God chose us to be the momma's of each child.  It was not a mistake.  Take heart in knowing that the Creator of the universe gave you each of your children because YOU would be the best mom for him/her.}

Finding their needs and meeting them can be hard.  I hear Benjamin yelling for me, and I find that he simply wants to be near me.  At the same time, Andrew is pulling at my leg with a book.  Clearly there is a compromise AND a good solution.  But not all situations come with a good solution or a compromise.

Days that are full of difficult decisions or not-so-easy solutions can be so exhausting.  Finding the best choice for both of my boys can be taxing on them and me.  And, on days like this, we are all a little weary and tearful by the end of the day.  But there is so much hope in the fact that God has given me wisdom as the momma of Benjamin and Andrew to give them whatever the need for that day.  And whatever I can't give them -- He does.  He's faithful and full of love.  Praise His holy Name!!

I am so grateful for the endurance and patience and strength that only the Lord can amply supply.  Being a momma without Him sounds like the most difficult, daunting and discouraging thing I can think of.  I love that I can find encouragement in His word.  I love that praying for myself and my boys can change everything.  I love that a simple worship song, or two, can bring peace and laughter.

I'm grateful that the Lord is my perspective and not the world.
I'm grateful that my worth is not what my children think of me, but that it's in the King of Kings.
I'm grateful that my heart can rest in Him, it can find peace in Him, it can rejoice in all things because of Him.

So don't lose heart yet, momma!  All that YOU need is found in Christ -- your worth, satisfaction and joy.  Your children can't complete you or fill any voids.  Your babies grow up and everyones needs change. Enjoy the arms of Jesus and rest at His feet.  His burden is easy and His yoke is light.  And there is, quite simply, no better place to find yourself as you spend your days mothering small {or big} children.  

This {being a momma} is your ministry, find yourself in Christ so you can fulfill it well and for His glory!

Need some biblical encouragement? 

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be shaken.  On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.  Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." ~Psalm 62:7-8

"But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded." ~2 Chronicles 15:7

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." ~Proverbs 13:24

"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.  He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength." ~Isaiah 40:28-29


casey said...

Oh thank you for this! It does me good... Especially this week with Jason gone.

Cynthia said...

Our boys (and days) are so similar! Thank you for the encouragement.

Jeannie said...

I love you!