Today I read this quote from a very dear friend...
"...this is how you must approach marriage -- asking yourself how you can be a "load lifter" and a "burden lightener" instead of a needy woman looking to be served, coddled, and made content by her man." (The Resolution for Women)
Now, I've not read this book nor do I know anything about it. But the words "load lifter" and "burden lightener" hit my heart so deeply! Being selfish and self-righteous and proud and self indulgent and full of unrealistic expectations and entitlement rages war deep in my soul. These are things I spend my days repenting from. These are the things that creep in when I'm not in the Word. These are the things that consume my head and heart. These things make me sick to my stomach because I want to be the exact opposite of them.
Whew. Now, with all of that said, this season of life is proving to allow me ample opportunities to be a "load lifter" and "burden lightener" to my husband! And let me be the first to tell you -- I'm not very good at these things! Patrick is currently working a full-time job and leaves the house at 6 am each {weekday} morning. He is leading and teaching a FLOCK {small group/bible study} through our church. He is taking seminary classes. He is being a husband. And a father. And a friend. Plus, my man has big plans around our house that he works on a lot. And he needs to get out and be refreshed, too!!!
To say that his life is full right now is an understatement, but it's not more than he {we} can handle. These are all things that have been prayed over and we have sought wisdom from dear friends and we have chosen {or have been chosen, rather} these things, for this season, because we feel it is absolutely where God wants us to be. And while Patrick is working and learning and teaching and being -- I need to be at the feet of Jesus, seeking a servant-like attitude that brings glory to our God.
I don't want to make things harder or more burdensome on Patrick, although I know I do. I want to be able to round up the boys and care for them all day and all night when he needs that extra time. I want to be able to make his lunches and have dinners ready and give baths and take the boys out and encourage him and read papers and support him when he works late or needs every free moment to study. And I don't want to do these things to be a super-woman or because it's "really sweet of me". I want to serve my husband like this because I'm called to do so and because God didn't just call Patrick to this season of life. I've been called right beside him -- to learn what I need to learn, to be humbled, to be sanctified and to learn the beauty and honor of lifting loads and lightening burdens when necessary.
I often tell Patrick that the "hard" things he endures {read: chronic vertigo, seminary, missions trips, leading flock} are not for him as much as they are for me. I think I'm doing really awesome at being an awesome wife and then vertigo relapses and I cry myself to sleep because I have no reprieve from disciplining and whining and cooking dinner and being a wife/mom/homemaker.
Woe is me! {wink wink. being sassy here}
My life is not hard. Not infertility. Not having two rambunctious boys {I would have it no other way!}. Not being without family. Not a busy schedule. Not sickness. Not long days. Not tiredness and weariness. My life is full and joyful and just as God intended. If I think it's "hard", that is my own struggle of discontentment and a lack of godly perspective.
My mind gets all crazy when I think I deserve a break or a treat or something and I don't get it because no one can read my mind or give me any kind of rational thinking before I've gone too far. There is no reason for me to think I must be {should be, will be} coddled and served and made content by my beloved. This is not his role, friends. This is God's role and He loves it and does it well. Patrick has been blessed, by God, with a role to love me and care for me and protect me. And he does that well. And if Patrick does serve me and love me and care for me -- praise God. And if he doesn't, that simply does not change my role as a his wife. {pause to praise God for an incredible husband....amen.} My satifaction is found in Jesus. My strength and rest and peace and joy are found in my God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth!!! And I'm grateful that God saw it fit to bless me with a husband who loves Him and wants to bring Him glory in our marriage by loving me.
All of this to say: my days are more meaningful when I'm putting myself last and when I'm doing what I've been called to do. And right now I'm called to mother and teach and serve and love two little boys. And forever I'm called to walk with my husband, to be a "load lifter" and a "burden lightener". I pray God's abundant grace will constantly fall on me in this way -- to fulfill this ministry to my love. And know this, I absolutely, never, ever could ever do it on my own.
It's by Him, for Him and because of Him.
Amen and Amen.
How are you lifting loads and lightening burdens right now?
1 comment:
Such great thoughts. It is obvious you are right where you need to be. For me, the struggle is not that my heart is in the right place (though sometimes it isn't) it is that I consistently seek to serve and sacrifice for my family, not out of a place of emptiness but out of the overflow of a genuine and vibrant life with God and Christ at the center. Thanks for sharing encouragement, challenges and the reality of how God is teaching you this. That book is on my reading list for the fall.
Megan
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