March 7.

Yesterday was March 7th.  And six years ago, that was probably the biggest day of excitement, nerves and anticipation that I had ever known.  That was my very first "due date".  The day our sweet Benjamin was suppose to come into the world.

It was also a good lesson in the term "due date" and holding that loosely :)  After March 7th, 2009 I became very familiar and close to term "due month" because Benjamin was certainly not coming on his due date.

I remember my body doing all the right things! I was dilated to 3cm five {5!} weeks before my long awaited "due date".  My doctor, my doula and Patrick were all sure that I wouldn't make it into March. But each day and week passed and there was still a sweet Benjamin growing and waiting in my womb.

There was a point that I was very upset with the wait.  I was tired and ready to be done.  I was annoyed at the amount of expectation put onto my body -- but who can say but the Lord when my baby should come into the world {without medical intervention}.  As the days drew nearer to this impending day of birth, I began to cry more and let go.  I realized that I wanted my baby to come when he was ready and to put my discomforts and expectations aside.

This doesn't mean I didn't work on making labor happen! I sat in the nursery, rocked in our brand new {no spit up, poop or milk stains guys!} rocker and sang songs to my sweet boy.  I prayed and prayed. I walked and walked.  I ate pineapple and eggplant parmesan. But he did not want to come out.

My doctor was leaving town and told me I should be induced before he left.  We went to the hospital one morning and I was given a dose of cervidil and walked for three hours. Nothing happened and I was so upset that I tried to rush this baby out.  We left and I didn't think twice about waiting longer.  We just did.

So on March 7th, 2009, without a baby in arms, Patrick and I drove to Greensburg for lunch and a trip to Barnes and Noble.  We talked and enjoyed this date, knowing there wouldn't be much alone time together after Benjamin arrived.  We had a sweet day.

The following week was nothing special.  I walked to the coffee shop, I went to the grocery store and I was told that I would be induced on Monday March 16th.  I shrugged it off and asked friends to pray.  And wouldn't you know...God is bigger than that.

Either way, it's always so humbling and so sweet to remember this season.  I can't believe it's been SIX years. Oh glory...