Lately, I've been feeling mighty protective of my husband and our marriage. I struggle with finding a line between jealousy and protection. It's taken me a while to even conclude what I have a hard time with and why!
I have a few girl friends who are single. I don't see them often, but recently we've seen them several weekends in a row. I think they are great girls and they love the Lord. However, they are very flirty with Patrick and go out of their way to serve him. Honestly, I don't mind sometimes because I am glad that my husband is getting cared for...but that's my job.
After much thought and prayer, I remembered that I was the same way with guys when I was single. The catch was that I didn't have many married guy friends, so it was difficult for me to relate to this situation. My conclusion is this: They are single girls, wanting men to notice them, wanting men to see that they are wife material. The problem is that they don't know the boundaries with married men and therefore, treat my husband like he is single and up for grabs. (Trying not to be jealous here...)
I realized that instead of trying to protect my marriage, set up boundaries and discuss with Patrick the things that upset me and make me uncomfortable, I have been getting angry and frustrated with him. He didn't do anything wrong! It makes me so sad to think of all the times I've wrongly accused him of something that I know he didn't do.
I believe that God is glorified when we protect the things He has given us. Patrick isn't just my husband. He is my best friend, my partner, a gift and a blessing. I need to pray for and care for this relationship. I need to ask the Lord how to protect my marriage, how to guard my heart and thoughts. It's not an easy task, but how can I fail when I'm seeking the Lord?
Marriage is sacred. It is a holy union. It's a lifelong commitment between two people. A covenant with one another, more so, a covenant with God. It needs to be protected and cared for. It's not a relationship that can grow on it's own. It needs to be cultivated, pruned, and watered.
Marriages that last have been fought for and protected. They have been cried over and prayed over. They've shed tears and roared with laughter. They've been through the dark trenches of this world. They've experienced real life together. These things are worth going through, knowing that on the other side you'll come out with a marriage that can move mountains, that can break down walls, that can chuckle at your mistakes and wipe countless tears away.
I am excited to see how the Lord guides us and shows us how to protect this sweet union He has given us. My marriage is worth fighting for. It's worth protecting.
4 comments:
Oh man, yeah! I totally get what you're saying. Aren't you glad you aren't single anymore? Sounds like these girls have no idea what they are doing, so I guess a little grace to them, but don't be afraid to "kindly" put your foot down. We must speak soon!! Did you get my voicemail two nights ago? :)
jr
My recently married friend talked about this. She mentioned that she prays for her husband everyday, that he when he has to choose "between God and sin, that he will always draw power from the Holy Spirit and choose God." I never thought of praying for my husband in that way before.
It's not to say that you should just stand by and watch your girlfriends flirt with your husband. That's a tough one.
Oh my!!! You certainly know how I feel about that sort of thing. Let Patrick know how you feel. I'm sure he has no idea that it's going on.
I remember being jealous of the flirting girls did with Tommy when he was still in pharmacy school. Even now when he visits offices a lot of the nurses feel like they know him & they flirt... and yes, even singles from church, etc. It's a fine line, and as your friend Jeannie put it we need to offer grace as needed. But our God is a jealous God, so don't be afraid to have a Godly jealousy of your man!
I really appreciate your insights & love that you are so open with your heart. I love you!
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