P.S. He's wonderful

I'm at the hospital and I can't sleep. Sure, it's after midnight. Sure, I was up for almost ten hours and gave birth to a child. But the nursery has my baby for some tests and I can't stop thinking about him! I did sleep for about two hours and I'm sure I'll regret, come Monday, not sleeping more without him, but I just want him and his cute little self to be near me.

Alas, here is our story:
Last Monday, I went to the doctor and I was still 3cm (I'm going back a little here, hang in there!) and my doc scheduled me for an induction the following Monday. I'm glad he opted for Monday and not Friday. It was important to me that I at least finish up 41 weeks.

As you know, if you read my blog, the Lord taught me some great things over last week and I was able to spend a lot of time relaxing and doing things I enjoy. Also, I got a cold. I was praying very fervently that I would go into labor naturally and NOT need to be induced. I knew Benjamin would come when he was ready. I read Psalm 145 over and over and prayed it very specifically for our situation.

Friday, my doula (who actually couldn't be at our labor because of a family emergency in FL. We were so sad, but had a back up) suggested that I try a little castor oil to clean me out and get things started. I wasn't opposed as I was more willing to drink oil than have drugs on Monday morning. I bought some and ended up only drinking a little less than a teaspoon. Aside from a few trips to the bathroom (that we minor compared to stories I've heard!) and throwing up my dinner, I just don't think it did anything.

We went to bed around 11pm and I woke up around midnight with cramps that I thought were from the oil. I got up two times in a half hour and just didn't understand why my belly hurt, but nothing was "coming out". I didn't consider that it could be labor until about 12:45 am. So, I stayed in the bathroom (so I wouldn't wake Patrick) and swayed my hips and took deep breaths through what turned out to be active labor.

I woke Patrick up at 1:30am because this had been going on for an hour and I was bleeding (which made me think that my cervix was dilating pretty well). He encouraged me and checked on me as I walked around the bedroom and bathroom for a while. I took a shower to ease the discomfort and my legs started shaking terribly. It was so weird and when Patrick checked on me and saw them shaking, he looked it up in our What to Expect book. Turns out that it's a sign of "transistion" and he declared that we were going to the hospital NOW!

So I took my time getting ready (I didn't have a choice, it's hard to put on mascara and make sure the house is ok when you can move and have a baby pushing). Finally we got to the hospital and the set me up on the monitor to check contactions and babys heart rate. Then, they checked my cervix. I was already dilated to 9cm and then a whirlwind of things happened. Lab techs were sticking me trying to take blood, they were trying to get an IV lock in me, I'm having contractions, they are trying to find my doctor (who had delieverd just about two hours before me and probably just got home when the called. Sweet man.) and I'm on these stupid, tight monitors. I had NO idea that I had been so dilated! What a gift from the Lord.

After being there, contracting and such, for about an hour and a half I had to start pushing. I had to and it felt so much better! I pushed actively for an hour and ten minutes. About every other contraction was useful, which made for a lot of hard, non productive pushing. But I was progressing and it was giving my body time to stretch.

I prayed and rested with my eyes closed and my heart steadfast on the Lord between contractions. I'm certain I only got through each one because of His kindness and Patrick's sweet whispers of encouragement. I was calm and focused on what needed to be done. I reached down several time to feel our babys head poking out. It was so helpful to know he was right there! There was only once that I remember being vocal and it was when I thought I saw my doctor getting ready to give me an episotomy. I said, between pushes, "Don't you cut me! Don't cut me!". He didn't and let me go.

So a few final, but hard and intensive, pushes and Benjamin was here. The worst pain of my whole labor was the burning, stinging and pressure of his head coming out fully. Whew! It was incredible and terrible all at once! Patrick was crying, the nurses were rushing and I was in shock. (warning: this may be TMI) Finally, I looked at someone and said - I just pushed a baby out of my vagina!!! They were not as impressed as I was :) They suctioned Benjamin, Patrick cut the cord, I held him and cried a little and then they cleaned him off and did all the what not's of being born. Oh, one interesting side note, my water didn't break until after Benjamin came out. It would have been quite difficult and very painful for my doctor to break my water on Monday to induce labor. Isn' the Lord so good?!

I tore slightly on the inside and needed two stiches, other than that it was a beautiful birth free of intervention and medication. I was able to rely on the Lord's strength to bring our baby into this world without anything in him (expect tary poop, my cold and a lot of mucus)! AND I felt so good. I was able to enjoy seeing my baby for the first time (without being drugged) and feeling him rush out of my body!! I truly had an incredible experience (and realize they don't all work out that way). Years of waiting for this miracle all faded away as his little eyes looked at me and knew me as soon as we were together.

So we are offically in love. Patrick just can't put him down and I love warming his body on mine. Benjamin is a champ at breastfeeding and latched on right away. He enjoys eating (and falling asleep) and has been so calm and pleasant over the last twenty hours. I just can't believe that it's all over and I have a precious baby to love and teach and care for. Wow! I much prefer this little guy out in the world than inside of me!

I am feeling great! Sore, obviously, but in good spirits. We are so blessed to have so many people visit us so far. AND I got to ear tiramisu today!!! My dear friend, Al, brought me two slices from my favorite place! It was quite a treat for labor. (It has raw eggs in it, so I couldn't eat it during pregnancy!) Benjamin is seriously the cutest baby I've ever seen and I can't think of ever loving something to little, so much! We get to go home Monday morning and Patrick has ALL of next week off! Wonderful!!!

I don't think I'm leaving anything out here, so that's our story. Handcrafted by the Maker of the universe. God was so good to us and cared for all three of us in beautiful ways throughout labor and delivery. Praise Him for being so good, so kind and so loving. I'm certainly not worthy of it, but most grateful for each and every ounce of Him. Please rejoice and magnify the Lord with us as we saw Him do great things, answer prayers and show Himself grand over the last day! Amen!

P.S. Please know that there will be several more pictures coming over the next few days!!!