Motherhood is made up of days and weeks and months of selflessness, sacrifice, joy and pain. It's not for the faint of heart or for the weak in spirit. I assure you, though, that the Lord is always so kind to grant you what is needed to make it through each day - in our faint-heartedness and in our weakness.
In those days and weeks and months are little moments. You know, the moments memories are made of. The stuff you never, ever want to forget. Moments that blow your mind. Moments that bring tears to your eyes. Moments that make you laugh, even years later. Moments that make you who you are.
I love being Benjamin's momma. Truly. He pushes my buttons and blesses my heart in ways no other human being can. I believe he was made that way so that we could both know the Lord more! He makes up so many moments in my memory that I just don't know where to start.
There have been little moments over the last 18 months that I'm sure I've forgotten. But today, today I need to tell you about my moments because I don't want to forget anymore. I don't want to miss this little boy, my baby, becoming a young man. I don't want to overlook his curiosity, his imagination, his heart, his temper, him.
These are moments I live for, friends, like when we get the mail. Benjamin always sit on the stoupe outside our front door and waits for me. Then we read the mail together. Ususally we spend most of that time looking through the mail and magazines for dogs - per his request.
Or...when B was little I would wave to our shadow when we were outside. Now when we're walking he'll squat down and wave at his shadow and say, "hi sadow". When I'm on my computer or in a chair or anywhere, really, Benjamin will come up to me and lay his little head on my leg. Then he'll look up at me and say, "Hi mommy". Good grief. I love how B will say hi to anyone who comes his way. Expect a random "hi!" and a wave if you ever see us out and about!
I love to watch B in his car seat. He'll talk to elmo, or read a book. He'll make the dinosaurs move and play. He cracks me up! And watching Benjamin dance is a highlight in my life. Seriously. We have dance parties pretty frequently. He bobs and bounces and spins around. But, friends, what I love most. The thing that melts my heart? When we slow dance together and B lays his head on my chest. Only for a while longer, only for a while longer. Plus! Benjamin has an excited dance. Need I say more!?
Now, I'm blank. The moments have slipped away, for now. But I'm writing these down. I'm not forgetting. And on hard days, I'll look back and remember. I'll remember the moments and the memories we've made, not by doing something extravagant or crazy, but by being a family and making the most of the days we've been given.
Here's to so many more moments!