Friday, November 18, 2011

30 looks good on me.

Thirty has never been intimidating to me. In fact, I think thirty should be intimidated by me! As I look back, the years have only gotten better. Why would I long for days gone by when I know that the best is still yet to come?

Each year has had struggles and joys. Especially the last several. Not one year was perfect, but all -- in hindsight -- were just what the Lord planned for me and used to make me who He has created me to be. Certainly I can, at least, join in the fun that He has and laugh at the days to come! And I will. Good or bad, tears or laughter -- I will carry on and cling to Him. I simply cannot think of a better way to journey through life.

I have been anticipating thirty for three years now. As I watched Patrick joyfully enter his third generation, I wanted nothing more to be there with him :) He became a father, we made the best move of our marriage -- of our lives, he grew and changed -- not only in character, but in the Lord. Yes, thirty was appealing in so many ways thanks to my husband.

And now, here I am. And I don't mind saying this at all: I think 30 looks very good on me!

I had great aspirations of doing "30 things before 30". But being sick and pregnant and exhausted just ruined that idea. BUT not this year, friends! 31 things before I'm 31. BRING. IT. ON.

1. Run a half marathon - ha! This is almost not fair, but it's my list.
2. Memorize one new verse a month.
3. Finish scrapbooking AR's first year and year four of marriage (I know, I'm behind!)
4. Find someone to mentor, to pass along the wisdom I've been given
5. Have baby #3 in process -- whether by adoption or biologically
6. Have at least one date with Patrick a week
7. Go away for a weekend with Patrick, at least once!
8. Have a date with Benjamin at least twice a month.
9. Learn to enjoy each day -- whatever it holds
10. Get better at taking pictures
11. Finish my personal trainer certification! -- this is a huge one...
12. Run a few times a week, for fun.
13. Find a way to serve at church that will bring glory to God and also be mindful of my family.
14. Eliminate at least 80% of toxic household cleaners
15. Serve my friends better.
16. Find a way to not go over my grocery budget and stick to it!
17. Live according the the "limits" I set for myself back in August.
18. Make at least one crock-pot meal a week.
19. Implement the Paleo diet in our lifestyle 80/20
20. Blog at least once a week.
21. Learn to confidently make decisions.
22. Find ways to be better organized.
23. Get rid of five things a week!
24. Go on a beach vacation
25. See some thing/some place new
26. Learn at least 15 new things about Patrick
27. Find 10 new ways to serve and love Patrick better
28. Spend less time on my phone -- talking and playing
29. Learn to teach my children -- and not allow church or school to be their primary source of learning and knowledge.
30. Spend at least five minutes a day in silence, alone, with no distractions.
31. Grow in patience, discipline and contentment

Whew. That was hard! And some may seem a little silly or small, but nothing is too ridiculous if it means you're allowing yourself to grow and change. My whole life I've longed for something more. I've never been satisfied and have always looked around me to find contentment. I've wanted to be a "rock star" -- as I'm sure you know -- and have dreamed of finding myself labeled as more than a wife and mom.

But that's not true any more.

I've never been more satisfied. I've never been more grateful. I've never been more aware of my sin and self-righteousness and my absolute need for God's grace, through Jesus' death. I don't want "more". My identity is in Christ. My satisfaction is in Him -- and I will joyfully live right where God has planted me, knowing that this is His best for me. How could I be unsatisfied or disappointed in God's best?!

I have made the choice to look outward and upward. I have decided that when I'm looking up, nothing can pull me down. And when I'm looking outside of myself, nothing will stop me from doing what God has called me to do. What a freedom I have found in Jesus! {And I've know Him for 13 years!}

The last thirty years have been -- interesting, to say the least :) I'm grateful for the life the Lord has given me and I would have never, ever imagined that I would be where I am now: in love and married to the love of my life, staying at home and raising two beautiful boys, living in Oklahoma, seeing the world, not longing for something more.

I'm beyond blessed, friends. I'm truly humbled as I reflect on thirty years gone by. I'm confidently resting in the hands and plans of the Creator of the world. I'm anxious to see what's next. And I can only hope for thirty more years like the previous ones. I really do believe that His best is yet to come -- and I couldn't be more floored that it will get better!

Thank you, Lord, for thirty years!!!

{P.S -- I definitely, and joyfully, have spent my birthday cleaning floors, playing with boys, eating lunch with my favs and folding laundry. And I would have it no other way!!!}

{P.P.S -- Rosemary essential oil smells wonderful.}

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