Shepherding

I took a "spiritual gifts test" not too long ago and it said that one of my top gift was shepherding.  I laughed out loud a little and I haven't thought much about it, really. I do love caring and teaching and growing with people.  It's such a joy for me.  But quite honestly, as this point in my life, when I think about shepherding -- I think about my boys.

After reading 1 Peter, I wrote this post almost a year ago.  I searched for and re-read it today as I can't stop thinking about my little flock.  These sweet and challenging boys!  {I just finished 1 Peter and this verse is stuck in my head again. Praise Jesus!}

"...shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; ad not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those alloted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock." {1 Peter 5:2-3}

Oh gosh, friends!  The last few days have been challenging!  Every ounce of me is used to willingly act in self-control and in an eagerness to serve the Lord by loving, teaching and disciplining my children.  By nothing other than God's grace am I able to do this day in and day out!

When Benjamin kicks me because he doesn't want to leave.  When B throws himself on the floor in a store because he may not have a bouncy ball.  When Andrew has reached his limit and screams at the top of his lungs until I hold him while we are trying to finish up an errand. While Andrew keeps touching the one thing I tell him not to touch.  While B calls me {or anyone} names or says something I tell him not to say -- over and over and over. 

{deep sigh!} {small grin} {shaking my head}

These days.  They are HARD.  

Consistent discipline is hard.  Dealing with two very cranky little boys who both woke up way too early is hard.  Constantly saying "no" is hard.  Giving them room to learn is hard.  Holding them close is hard.

Putting aside my exceptions and desires is hard. Being slow to anger and slow to become frustrated is hard.  Praying constantly is hard.  Being willing to stop everything to discipline is hard.  Sticking to my guns is hard.  Obeying God is hard.

But God didn't call me into the trenches of motherhood because it was a walk in the park.  He called me for sanctification and to bring Himself glory.  He didn't call me here because it was easy, He called me to be a momma because it is not easy!  

You don't walk trenches unarmed and unprepared.  You are alert and ready.  You've trained and battled.  You've come with a plan, for the most part.  But motherhood, well, you're never quite prepared or ready or trained.  And you do not always have a plan.  BUT Praise the Lord!  He does.  I have been equipped and created for this season.  I may not know the plan, but He does.  And He has given me the wisdom I need for each day -- good or bad -- in His word!  I can be alert as I know that He is filling me and caring for me so I can do my job.

Here this:

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The Lord is an everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not grow tired or weary;

His understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint, and to him who no might He increases strength."

{Isaiah 40:28-29}

God does not grow tired or weary.  On challenging days, He is as ready as ever and knew for always that today was going to be hard on me. He is not surprised by bad days or long days or really, really exhausting days.  In fact, He gives me power and strength because He knows it's going to be hard -- and I cannot do it on my own.  He is always willing and ready to care for us.  He is always willing to give so we can serve Him.  He is always the best and most perfect place to rest and be still and be refreshed so I can fulfill the ministry He has given me.

Even when everything is a battle, I can be calm and do whatever I need to do to make my boys see that this isn't about them, or me, or a toy -- it's about Jesus.  Shepherding this flock isn't always easy or fun, but I am so thankful that I have a flock to shepherd.  And even more, I am grateful to have a Shepherd who cares so diligently for me and is constantly growing me so that I can do what I've been called to do.

Shepherd on, mommas, in the mighty Arms of God and by HIS strength.