Sunday, May 12, 2013

I am still a mom...

I can't help of think of the five years that I really, desperately wanted to be celebrated on Mother's Day.  My womb was barren and my body broken. I simply cried silent tears and prayed longingly that God would bless my arms with babies.  He did and I'm eternally grateful.

Patrick and I talk often of the joys and pains of having children.  With two under our belts {but by no means are we experienced!} and one on the way, we are delighted and overjoyed to know this adventure {especially together!}.  Somedays we talk of having more and more babies, somedays three seems like it will be a great {and challenging} number.  Always in these conversations I find myself going on and on about one thing: the treasure and richness of being a mother.

I will say this to the day I die: I would rather be poor and living in a shack with ten children than have everything I've ever wanted materially.  Nothing in this world -- not one thing -- would ever, ever give me as much joy and satisfaction as my children do. What a privilege to raise these babies with my husband and watch them grow! They will always be the greatest gifts God has given me {aside from Patrick. he is my favoritest!}.  Everything else is just -- stuff.  But these boys, and our sweet girl, they are precious treasures I've been given to love and care for.  THAT IS MY JOB! Praise God He is able, because I couldn't do it without Him!

Today was a sweet, sweet day.  The Patrick and the boys made me breakfast and wrote/colored in my Mother's Day book. Benjamin told me "Happy Mother's Day" over and over again.  Andrew told me "Happy Birthday" a few times, but I knew what he meant ;) But today, truly, was just another day.

I got ready with two little boys under my feet and in my closet -- because I am still a mom...

We went to church and I stayed a few extra minutes in Andrew's class until his teacher arrived -- because I am still a mom...

We were going to have brunch at my favorite restaurant, but they were booked for an hour -- so we went somewhere more kid friendly and with better timing.  I knew what the boys could handle -- because I am still a mom...

I made a grocery list and a meal plan for this week, then went to the grocery store so we could have dinner -- because I am still a mom...

I made dinner and cookies -- because I am still a mom...

I cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry -- because I am still a mom...

Just because it's Mother's Day does not give me the day off.  In fact, it makes me remember why I do my "work" in the first place.  And I'm reminded that even if Mother's Day didn't exist, I would do the same thing -- a day for mothers or not.

I have spent so many of my motherhood days in a selfish and self righteous state.  I'm certainly not saying I'm no longer a selfish person, just that motherhood changes your view of self -- especially after two babies!  I felt entitled to this or that, I expected all I wanted and that my way needed to be the only way.  I wanted to be waited on and cared for, instead of do the waiting and caring.  I wanted to sit back and take it easy, when really my job is to serve and care for my husband and boys {not that we don't need a break sometimes ;)}.  And this wasn't just on Mother's Day, but every day.

Motherhood is not a job of selfishness and entitlement! It is the exact opposite -- joyfully sacrificing yourself daily to care for these little people who are helpless without you.  And it's not always easy, but it is absolutely worth it.  I would rather live sacrificially than selfishly any day!

So these days I'm so content to make dinner and change diapers and watch little boys shoot arrows.  I love to listen to stories and do the laundry and wash dishes and hand out homemade cookies. It's so filling to get hugs and kisses and to laugh at silly moments that no one else sees or experiences. I am still their mom...lucky me.

These everyday moments are my moments, tiny gifts from the Lord, made for me to love and enjoy and cherish.  These little acts of service are nothing compared to the way God cares for me. And these little boys need a momma -- and I'm humbled and willing to be all that God has called me to be for them.

Chair sharing. Cookie eating.


Brotherly love.

I couldn't do life without this man.  We are the perfect team and he brings me abundant joy!

Series of photo bombs...1



Baby bump at 19 weeks.

This guy, he started my mommy journey.  And he was worth the wait!

My boys! Also, a sitting position is NOT a flattering position for a pregnant woman. FYI.

Losing them.

You know, real life pictures are the best kinds...

Happy Mother's Day!
{Especially to my mom and mother-in-law!}

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