Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Nine days in.

There are a lot of things that haven't phased me with the fourth baby.  Night feedings aren't too hard.  Fussy moments go away pretty quickly.  Even diaper changes -- they happen and I'm already changing Elise's diapers all day.

But there are parts that are overwhelming.  Mainly, four kids.

In fact, I started writing this when Caleb was nine days old.  And today he is 13 days old.  Life takes over quickly.  But never in a bad way.  And I don't mind.

My expectations are low.  And I feel like that is a good starting point.  I want to rest and have grace with myself, but also be mindful to care well for my people and my home.  All in due time...

My daily goals are as follows: get boys to school on time and pick them up on time, make sure Caleb is feed and changed and not crying all day, love Elise and spend time with her, try to clean the island at some point, eat some food and drink some water.  The end.  I'm so grateful we have friends bringing us meals for the next few days! It's so, so, so helpful at this point!

Aunt Kate was here for eight days and that was so nice. Extra hands are so helpful these days! Plus, the kids loved having her around.  Extra attention isn't so bad for anyone right now!

I've cried a few times.  Good, hearty, get-all-the-things-out cries.  Maybe you know this about me, but crying is my outlet.  Happy and sad and overwhelmed and delighted -- all come with tears.  My emotions are deep and full -- so after a baby, they feel even more so.  My tears are good.  My body feels good and I enjoy moving around without pain and bending over without grunting ;)  I have been walking every other night and it feels good to move.  Mostly, it's good for my head.  Time alone, enjoying the weather, deep breaths -- I think it's some of the best recovery medicine I could have!

Caleb is such a good baby.  He sleeps a lot. He is such a good nurser.  Maybe the best one of the all four babies! He has a few fussy times in the day.  His eyes are open more now and it's sweet to see those tiny eyes looking into mine.  I waited so long to know what those eyes looked like.  They are beautiful.  I'm just so in love with this little boy.  I'm beyond grateful that God knew we needed him.  He completes this place in my heart that was apparently void.  He makes our family feel full, in the best way possible.  And I am so glad God gave him to us!

Elise is adjusting to life with a new baby.  She loves him and is a little momma. She has moments of acting out, but she is still so very little herself...

The boys are enjoying school for the most part.  I'm truly just concerned with helping them adjust to this new normal and loving them well.  School is harder for B this year, so I'm praying for an abundance of confidence and grace for him.  Andrew really likes playing with his best friends everyday ;)

I've been taking a lot of pictures of Caleb. I can't help myself. He's just SO cute!!!

Aunt Kate took some family pictures for us.  I forgot to get some at the hospital.  And all the days after that.  I'm so glad she got a few for us!


mama cindy said...

I am so grateful for your friends and would love to be there myself to help out....soon! Sweet baby Caleb! LOVE all the pictures!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful family! I am a crier too! It's my outlet and I feel so cleansed afterward (like a good rain). Blessings to you! I only have 3 children but balancing making sure they feel loved and meeting their needs but still maintaining your own mental health is always a challenge. You are doing beautifully and I am reminiscing with joy to when our last baby arrived almost 8 years ago.

~Shannon from WV